USATSI_7524633_160885884_lowres

Running Out Of Space On Garbage Island

Boy, it hasn’t been the best week for goalies to reward my faith in the sport or humanity, has it?

Though I can’t tell you how delighted I am that on the day after Brian Burke wrote his article in USA Today defending fighting and talking about how “The Code” would solve everything if only we would let it, Ray Emery and the Flyers pretty much shit all over it. Even though Emery thinks he was in line with “The Code” because he told Braden Holtby he was going to punch him regardless of what Holtby thought. Oh wow Razor!  You beat up a guy who wasn’t trying to fight you! HOW TOUGH YOU ARE! Maybe next you can go brag about how you scored with your own girlfriend after!

Perhaps it’s not fair to paint the whole sport in a bad light when the most backward organization in the sport (the Flyers) and their most backward fanbase do something backward. Not everyone follows this path.

But only a sport as backward as hockey lets this go on. Think about what other sport is it considered customary that when you’re getting your ass handed to you on a platter it’s ok to then try and fight everyone. If you hit a guy out of bounds in football to send some message they toss you. If you throw at a hitter when you’re getting lit up they throw you out. Commit a hard foul in the NBA? Gone. Remember Andrew Bynum cheapshotting J.J. Barea when the Mavs had spent four games putting a foot in the Lakers’ throat via their anus? He was tossed, and a national laughingstock.

But in hockey? A coach like Craig Berube can unleash the unhinged Wayne Simmonds to leave his senses (if he ever had them) simply because the Flyers were getting their dicks knocked in the dirt. The only message it sends is that you’re a basketcase of a team and franchise who doesn’t know how to lose with class. You know how you send a message when you get waxed in a game? You work your ass off in the next practice and game to make sure it never happens again.

Everyone around the NHL loves to still point to Detroit as the model franchise, and I simply can’t imagine Mike Babcock ever lowering to this level. Remember when the Hawks put up a touchdown on the Wings last year in the Joe? Even if Tootoo had dressed that day, does anyone really think Babcock would have sent him out to run people? Please.

So if that’s what every team should be, how can it be part of tradition or what you do to stoop to the ooze of “sending a message?”

Emery’s actions were a joke. If he’s so manly and pissed off than maybe he should have found Tom Wilson himself. Though I am impressed Razor was able to fight with the crink he must have gotten his neck from turning around behind him so often and so quickly in that game.

And of course, what ends up on every highlight show?

And then today we’ve got John Tortorella, not exactly the most forward thinking coach, coming out to say that the players should be allowed to police themselves again. You know, now that I think about this, when were these halcyon days when the players did all the enforcing of rules and no one ever got hurt or pulled any dirty shit? Was it the 70′s when the Flyers were beating everyone up? Was it the 80′s when the game resembled a bar brawl at times and Shawn Burr and Glen Featherstone and whatever other goof was cross-checking anyone they could find in the jaw? Was it the early 90′s? Was it before the Bettman Lockout II when Todd Bertuzzi was nearly murdering Steve Moore?

I think these things that the old guard point to as what happens when the players don’t police themselves have always gone on, but now that we can see every game from our couch it just seems like they’re going on more. If a Shark boarded a King in a west coast start in 1997, I wouldn’t know about it until the next morning. Maybe. I probably wouldn’t get video of it.

Now? My twitter feed lights up. The video is posted within minutes. Everyone gets to share their opinion immediately. It’s a bigger furor. I don’t know that means these things are happening more often now.

If there’s one satisfying thing, it’s been watching the island that the neanderthals are stuck on erode to the point where it won’t be too long where they’ll look like Porky, Daffy, and Marvin hanging on to one sliver of planet. More and more people are leaving that island. Maybe it won’t be as long as a I thought before it’s totally gone.

  • thefearlessfreep

    Great reference Sam! I Love it!

    • mightymikeD

      Here you go.. and great article.

  • mazer_rackham

    You kicked fighting’s ass! With words!

  • BodomSlayer

    Great post Sam, and I couldn’t agree more. While there is always a part of me that does enjoy seeing a good hockey fight, it has to make sense (ironic choice of words, I know) in the overall context of the situation. Emery and his decision making were none of these.

    In addition the fact that the NHL is standing idly by with their thumbs up their asses is a disgrace to the sport. What Emery did was commit an assault, plain and simple. The fact that they are choosing to brush it under the rug ‘because their is no rule for this’ is simply atrocious.

    And the NHL wonders why it can’t market itself to the casual fan.

  • MattC86

    The International Goaltenders’ Fraternal Union definitely took a hit in the past week. Yikes. Varly, Roy (both for covering for his Russian shitbag starter and of course having done it himself once upon a time), Razor. . . it all makes Ol’ Vodka Tits’ drunken turd performances and self-flagellation look like a model citizen!

    • 10thMountainFire

      All of the sudden I want to refer to Bollig as an example of how someone evolves and figures out how to be a better hockey player. When did this happen and why does my brain hurt so much?

  • laaarmer

    Bob Probert, Darren McCarty, Joey Kocur, Tootoo, Kronwall, Ciccarelli, Chelios, Shanahan, Bertuzzi, etc, etc, etc.

    They are just as much part of it as every other team in the league.

    • SamFels

      I suppose the argument is that Bertuzzi has seriously toned down his act since arriving in Detroit, and the rest outside Kronwall are from a former era of the Wings. I guess it also depends on where you stand on Kronwall, as he divides opinions. I don’t like his hits much, but I also don’t think he’s Lapierre or Kaleta or anything like that.

      • 1benmenno

        Wayne Lapierre?

        • Fleshrifle

          His Corsi sucks.

        • 10thMountainFire

          From his cold, dead hands.

          • 1benmenno

            That’s exactly what I was getting at.

      • laaarmer

        Yeah, but if they are the franchise we all want to be, Bertuzzi is not in consideration for employment because of his past.
        Edit: You know where this is heading right?

    • 10thMountainFire

      Probert, McCarty, Ciccarelli, Chelios, Shanahan, Tootoo, Kronwall, and Bertuzzi could actually play hockey, though. I’m not sure you could say that for Joey Kocur. Fists of granite but a brain of the same substance.

      • thefearlessfreep

        Funny thing – I remember back in my college days (late 80s) reading about NHL pugilists in the Wall St Journal, of all places. The irony was that they referred to Joey Kocur as “Mr. Kocur”, which was really hiliarious to me at the time.
        I guess it still is.

  • chichicagochi

    Aren’t we kind of just blowing up the mistake of one official’s poor decision to not stop a fight?

    • Shooter

      I agree with you on this, but there must be a post-game punishment for this kind of action. Refs make bad decisions all the time, and players get away with hits..but later are reprimanded. I’m not sure if Emery is getting any further looks from the “league” on this.

      • Z-man19

        They took a pass

    • 1benmenno

      Now is not the time to talk about regulating fighting in hockey.
      So when is the time right for it?

      • chichicagochi

        The CBA

        • 1benmenno

          Are we, the fans who support the league financially, under the same restriction?

  • 334Rules

    Two goalies skating out to meet each other at center ice during a line brawl is one thing. One guy going the length to punch the shit out of another guy who’s just standing there is exactly what others have already called it: assault.

    Before last night’s game, Troy Murray acknowledged that he does not want fighting eliminated from the game, but still called Razor out for that move.

    The problem the league has is that fights are very popular among the folks in the building – the current paying customer. And it’s not just the neanderthals: I’ll admit that as much as I’d be fine with eliminating it, and as much as I think boxing, MMA, etc are all utter bullshit sports, I still find myself getting jacked up by a good fight (oxymoron, I know, whatevs). There’s a primitive part of our brains that this stuff still appeals to, sadly.

    • 1benmenno

      I would rather watch two guys on unicycles duking it out than watch a hockey fight.

    • AirTrafficAJ

      I dunno, Patrick Roy and his kid sure do love stuff like that.

      • raditzzzz

        for context on roy’s son:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WN5VppFGasg

        and yup, thats dad behind the bench.

        • Z-man19

          Good lord, how can a sport allow one guy to beat the hell out of another guy that wants no part of it and think its good for the sport? How am I supposed to explain that to my kids if they are watching it?

          • MattC86

            Two words.

            Patrick Roy.

            Well, a third word – Quebecois.

            But yeah, seriously, this was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the Emery incident, and it’s heinous. Absolutely heinous.

          • 10thMountainFire

            If I ever met Roy in person, I would spit on the ground and walk away.

          • VanDorp’sMullet

            Not to paint a whole group as being ig’nant rednecks, but I have a Canadian friend who lives in Quebec and is multilingual (English, French, Spanish) and she was once punched in the nose by a complete stranger (a male) in Montreal because she was speaking in English. Obviously not all (or even the majority) of Quebecois are that bigoted and meatheaded, but there does seem to be a rather boorish contingent out there making it hard not to conflate being Quebecois with being like Patrick Roy.

          • 10thMountainFire

            And it should be noted that Roy is a fuckin coward, too. And he fights like an armless chimp.

          • 10thMountainFire

            ‘Patrick Roy and his family are trash. Do the opposite of what they do.’

          • 1benmenno

            To all you young hockey fans out there, the most important thing is good sportsmanship. And that means beating the crap out of someone who would rather play hockey.

        • 10thMountainFire

          There is so much to hate in what that piece of shit did in that video that it is almost an entire social research project in and of itself.

          He picked a fight with an unwilling person, then proceeded to beat him about his head while he had a victim in a prone, dangerous position. It tells me everything about the character of his father, his upbringing, and the state of his family. So fuck the Roy family. All of them.

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            And the crowd as well. Probably why this fight issue seems to be shifting along the Canadia/America lines

          • 10thMountainFire

            I have a visceral reaction to taking advantage of weaker people. Beating a person who clearly did not want to fight is not manly. It’s disgusting and demonstrates the worst in what a person is. In that few minutes, we get a very good understanding of the integrity and character of him and his father.

            ‘You are a reflection of your parents.’

          • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

            What about his mom? Is his mom a shitbox too?

          • 10thMountainFire

            If the son is a shithead, the father is clearly a shithead in Patrick… I’ll reserve judgement on the mom. But the dad is a piece of shit. Established.

          • 1benmenno

            So shithead is the masculine and shitbox is the feminine? I don’t know French so I’m asking.

          • 10thMountainFire

            Si.

          • VanDorp’sMullet

            Not sure I always agree with the notion that you are a reflection of your parents. I’ve known plenty of total douchebags who have had awesome parents and also sweet-natured kids who have had douches for parents. However, I absolutely, totally, unabashedly agree that beating up someone who isn’t willing or able to fight is a sign of a weak character and an utter lack of a moral compass.That video of Roy’s kid literally makes me feel sick to my stomach. It’s pure, unadulterated assault and battery and he should be doing time for that and not getting applause.

          • 10thMountainFire

            Great points throughout. I agree that not all bad kids are reflections of their parents. But obviously Roy’s offspring is.

          • VanDorp’sMullet

            I concur. Patrick Roy has shown his complete classless nature a million times throughout his career and it clearly rubbed off on his fuckwad of a son.

          • raditzzzz

            from what i remember after reading an article on this incident, he was booed off and flicked off his home crowd, i believe.

          • VanDorp’sMullet

            Class, thy name is Roy.

      • 10thMountainFire

        Patrick Roy, and apparently his lineage, have a long-established reputation for being fuckwads.

    • mazer_rackham

      I hear you. I look at the punch that Volpatti landed and part of me goes “uhuhuhuh” even though I like to think I’m above it. But I still don’t want to see it in the game. Downie put himself in harm’s way for nothing.

    • BeverlyBrewmaster

      I think most hockey fans can related to the rush that a fight can bring (primitive as it may be), but I’m not sure about the whole “paying customer wants it” argument. I mean, how many people do you know that would actually stop going to games if fighting was eliminated? If they canceled an entire fucking season and we all came back, I think we’d do the same if we did away with fighting. (And to the extent that a small minority really did disappear, I think the long term growth of a fight-free NHL would more than offset any losses.)

      • 334Rules

        I don’t disagree with that at all. But as an owner, when you look around and see 21000+ on their feet cheering a fight, it’s hard not to say “damn, that sure makes my customers happy.” It’s not that they would stop being customers without it, but you can see why owners might balance the prospect of injury to their employee with what they have to perceive as an attraction for their customer. What we’re talking about is asking them to take a leap of faith that elimination of fighting might make their sport MORE popular.

        • Paul the Fossil

          Exactly. Which makes me wonder, has anyone ever done a real examination of individual NHL team attendance rates compared to the frequency with which different teams incur fighting majors? Either comparing across the league or comparing through time?

          • raditzzzz

            FIGHTERMETRICS

          • Fleshrifle

            Isn’t that just “The Will To Win”. That “will” is definitely helping Philly.

          • SamFels

            Here’s the thing though. Those people cheering fights? They’re already in the building. They’re already committed. It’s the ones that aren’t in the building that the NHL is probably worried being driven to never show up by fighting.

          • 10thMountainFire

            Exactly. Which is why the counterpoint to your argument/position is always ridiculous; if the point is to widen the sport’s base and gain a larger portion of the profit share in sports, then appealing to those not already in the building (and less likely to see the sport as legitimate because of the goonery) should be the focus. But the dinosaurs are still stomping around the campground and until they’re gone, the Burke idiocy will still make it into print and the Milburys and Cherrys will still flap their lips on national television.

          • DesertHawk

            ROAR!!!

          • 1benmenno

            Amen, brother.

          • 1benmenno

            The people who don’t cheer are also in the building. Maybe a more scientific metric is needed than counting the fools banging on the glass during a fight.

        • 1benmenno

          Fuck the profit motive: it’s assault and therefore illegal.

          • Why

            Volenti non fit injuria.

          • 1benmenno

            Fine. Why do combat sports promoters need licenses to do business? Is hockey really in the same realm as boxing, wrestling, and MMA? If so, then the league should get permission from the municipal or state/provincial authorities to engage in blood sport.

          • Why

            In all areas of law, the question is whether you’re covered by the definition. I’m guessing that even though hockey isn’t in the same realm as “combat sports” it’s an expected and accepted risk that someone will punch you when you strap the blades on at the NHL level.

          • 1benmenno

            Get back to me when you have actually gone beyond guessing.

          • Why

            Fair enough. What is the definition of “combat sports” in the particular statute (or area of common law) you are looking at?

          • 1benmenno

            Each jurisdiction has its own definition and regulations. Sometimes its municipal; sometimes it’s bigger than that. Which is why Montreal hosted the first MMA event in Canada, rather than Toronto.

          • Why

            Fair enough, again. My guess is that the definition of “combat sports” in Canada has been drafted to specifically exclude hockey (whether or not hockey is actually excluded by name). I don’t know that for sure unless I actually see the statutes or areas of common law that you are looking at.

          • 1benmenno

            It’s a plausible guess but a guess is all it is.

          • Why

            And if you’re actually writing a brief, my guess is that you know the answer (or need to find it).

          • 1benmenno

            I’m not writing the brief. I’m getting my students to do it.

          • 10thMountainFire

            You’re good at your job.

          • 1benmenno

            I’m good at delegating. That way I can spend more time with you, XMF.

          • 10thMountainFire

            Win.

          • Why

            Start with section 83 of the criminal code. Grab a copy of Martin’s and whatever the other major guy’s name is to see how things are defined in common law. Cite sources.

            But it’s pretty clear why the rules, as written, do not apply to a sport that sometimes has fights.

          • 1benmenno

            Is hockey a sport that sometimes has fights? That’s how you define hockey? Basketball sometimes has fights. I bet golf does.
            No, hockey is not a sport that sometimes has fights. It not only condones but encourages fighting. So however the law may be interpreted now, it will change. Ask Ken Dryden, if you want legal opinion.

          • Why

            Ken Dryden? Did he get an appointment to the bench when I wasn’t looking?

            Again, sports that condone and encourage fighting don’t fall under section 83 of the criminal code. On a quick look, that’s why provinces (or municipalities granted that power by a province) have to regulate MMA but not hockey.

          • 1benmenno

            Ken Dryden knows more about law than I do. And he played hockey at a relatively high level. And has some thoughts on fighting in hockey. Given his credentials, I thought I might mention his name.

            From Section 83: “prize fight” means an encounter or fight with fists or hands between two persons who have met for that purpose by previous arrangement made by or for them.

            Those engaging in a prize fight are “guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction.”

          • Why

            You’re almost there. Once you apply the purposive approach is it likely that hockey was meant to fall under the statute? Do you think prosecutors have just missed something and Colton Orr should expect multiple charges any day now?

            I’ve yet to see Dryden offer a legal opinion on whether hockey fights are an offence under section 83. He wants fighting out of hockey and would be a danger to it if he was a judge but he isn’t. He’s a lawyer who has an opinion. Don’t confuse that with his legal opinion (again, unless I’ve missed something).

          • 1benmenno

            You haven’t missed anything. You’re entirely on point. Law is about opinion, which changes over time. Principles remain put.

          • Why

            Fair enough but here’s the deal. What you chose to write is your call. But I’m going to type things you don’t like when you start typing that hockey fights are assault. The rules can certainly change without notice because a man or women in a robe decided they have. Right now though? That’s not an assault in any jurisdiction in Canada.

        • thefearlessfreep

          I may be in the minority here, but I just don’t get the fighting. I’m definitely NOT one of those types who gets up and gets gigged up when two guys go at it. I’ve seen enough of them. Rarely do they produce anything positive, despite what the team will say. What are the Flyers supposed to say? That the fight didn’t do anything? Often they are staged and frankly are boring. One of the only fights I ever saw that really seemed to settle matters was the Manson-Stevens fight during the St. Patrick’s Day Massacre against the Blues. There was nonsense going on all night, but once that fight was over, that settled it. Of course, it could’ve been because the benches were reduced to half after all of the game misconducts.

  • justforkicks

    Torts also said he was going to continue teaching a check that was deemed suspendable by the league (by which I mean his own player was suspended for it and torts said meh)

    • 10thMountainFire

      It’s karmic justice that he and AV just traded out. They’re both losers.

  • 10thMountainFire

    John Tortorella is a fuckin stooge. Fuck him. He’s the kind of guy that makes stupid-ass statements like that because he’s fuckin stupid. It’s like someone inserted Mike Milbury’s mouth into Alain Vigneault’s body and replaced AV in Vancouver with a human sewer stain.

  • 1benmenno

    I know none of you asked but I’m going to throw it out there anyway. My brief against fighting in hockey has nothing to do with a revulsion against martial/combat sports. My brother is an MMA fighter/instructor in the Caribbean, his sensei being the bodyguard of the president of the Dominican Republic. My father instilled a love for the “sweet science” and its history in his sons; his favorite fighters were Rocky Marciano and Carmen Basilio. My grandfather remembers listening to the radio when Joe Louis beat Max Schmeling; he ran out into the prairie streets yelling “Joe beat the Nazi!.” His brother was a boxing instructor at a C.O. lumber camp during WWII. Yeah, that’s right. A conscientious objector taught people how to use their fists. Just because Mennos are raised in a pacifist culture doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy a good tilt.
    Hockey fights do not count as good tilts. They are ridiculous. Ray Emery? Pick on someone who knows what they’re doing, Ray. Or else I’ll sic my brother on you. And he’s got TWTK.

    • 1benmenno

      And, yes, I know Dave “The Hammer” Schultz,the ultimate Broad Street Bully, was a Mennonite. But I only know this because he introduced himself as such to my brother at a charity event in the D.R. Turns out our grandmothers live in the same neck of the woods.

      • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

        Could your grandmother beat up his grandmother?

        • bizarrohairhelmet

          legally, yes. If there was a scrap about scrapple.

          • 1benmenno

            My abacus can’t handle the amount of scraps we’ve had over scrapple.
            Edit: scraps over scrapple are counted in numbers, not in amounts.

          • Joe Banks

            I forget. – How do I convert Hexidecimal to Binary on this damn thing?

          • 1benmenno

            You first have to switch it to cubit mode.

          • Joe Banks

            If I switch it to cubit mode, won’t god make me build an Ark?

          • 1benmenno

            No, you build the ark. He sends all the species, two by two. Jeezus.

        • 1benmenno

          Yes.

          • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

            Now that’s a fight I’d cheer to watch (if they were on skates).

            Imagine, though, two Canadians on a Hawks forum, both wishing fighting was eradicated from hockey. World’s done gone mental.

          • 1benmenno

            First of all, I’d rather see my Oma fight Schultz’s Oma on unicycles. It’s probably safer; or at least funnier. Secondly, we must be the smartest Canadians these fuckers will ever meet. And the most handsome. Next to Patrick Sharp.

          • Z-man19

            Well I took Chiico for all his gumballs, you’re next smarty pants

          • 1benmenno

            You got me. But I’m not wearing my smarty pants. No pants at all.

          • Z-man19

            It’s not game day, stop scaring your neighbors and put some pants on

          • 1benmenno

            I feel terribly embarrassed now. For my neighbors, yes. But mostly for the people who work in this grocery store.

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            And it’s TruckNutz giveaway day to boot.

    • 10thMountainFire

      I love MMA, love boxing, love a hockey fight that is a dude just standing up for himself. I hate the goonery, the massive brawls that slow the game to a crawl, and the dumbness the likes of what happened with Emery. I have no issue with guys like Keith, Seabs, or even Toews finding the need to drop their gloves and defend their space or their teammates. What I take issue with is the straight-out goonery, the one-dimensional players that can only fight, and the stupidity and banality of the staged fight.

      Roenick could fight. And he also scored 50 a few times.
      Chelios could fight. And he was a Norris winner.

      Get rid of the John Scotts, apply new ‘third man in’ type rules to stop the line brawls, and you have a solution as far as I am concerned.

      • 1benmenno

        That’s the first step, getting rid of the goons. The second step will be the condemning of any fighting. Hockey fights will still happen but the participants will be penalized the same way they are in every other major league sport. And just like every major sport, a fight on the playing field/ice will be all the more special because it’s a rarity.

        • 1benmenno

          And, BTW, Dave Schultz was a multiple 20 goal/season scorer. As Don Cherry likes to point out.

          • Joe Banks

            Don Cherry

          • 1benmenno

            Well, let’s not forget that Cherry is still in cubit mode.

          • 10thMountainFire

            So guys like Schultz would survive in today’s game…

          • 1benmenno

            According to Cherry, he is what tough guys should aspire to. That’s my most rosy-glassed interpretation of Cherry’s creed.

          • 10thMountainFire

            I think guys like Tkachuk, Roenick, and Guerin demonstrated you can be a skilled guy who can throw down without being overly concerned with fighting. Don Cherry’s time has passed and he’s hanging on way past it. He’s a novelty, kitsch, a caricature of himself. He just doesn’t know it… or he’s branding himself.

          • 1benmenno

            I say these guys will continue to throw it down. And they will be penalized severely. Look, if you’re going to make a point by fighting, you might as well make a fucking point.

          • Paul the Fossil

            Cherry is an idiot. Schultz was a one-time 20 goal scorer (1973-74); a winger who never once reached even .5 PPG for a season; while playing in the league’s peak era of talent dilution when it included top-4 defensemen who wouldn’t have even been invited to an NHL training camp a decade earlier or two decades later. In today’s game Schultz would be an undersized John Scott getting 10 minutes/game in the AHL.

        • Why

          This is why I don’t want you to take the first step.

          • 1benmenno

            Why do you say the things you do?

          • Why

            Because I mean them.

    • VanDorp’sMullet

      What delineates a good tilt from a bad one for you? Why is MMA ok, but not a hockey fight between (and this is key) 2 consenting competitors? I’m honestly not trying to be combative… I really want to know how you are defining those terms.

      • 1benmenno

        My objections are both legal and aesthetic. (I can’t believe I just wrote that.) Legally, combat sports need special licences to operate as a business. The authorities over hockey, if fighting is a defining feature of that sport, needs to apply for a license to operate a combat/martial/blood sport.
        Secondly, I was raised in a culture that appreciated Joe Louis, Barney Ross, Rocky Marciano, Rocky Graziano, Sugar Ray Robinson, Archie Moore, Cassius Clay/Ali, Sugar Ray Leonard etcetera.
        Compared to that, a hockey fight is as technically interesting as two college types fighting in the Arby’s drive-thru on St. Patty’s Day.
        Which is to say, interesting if you like ugly things.

        • VanDorp’sMullet

          Yes, I can see your points there and totally agree that there is much more art and technical skill in a boxing or MMA match than in a hockey scrap.

          • 1benmenno

            When you said scrap I got hungry for scrapple. Goshdarn you English!

          • Z-man19

            Scrapple?

          • 1benmenno

            BHH thinks I eat scrapple. But unbeknownst to him I prefer head cheese. Which is made of rendered scrapple.

          • Z-man19

            You can have all you want of both, and my lutefisk too

          • 1benmenno

            They do have the same texture.

          • Z-man19

            I may go barf

          • 1benmenno

            Mother may I?

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            Scrapple is just more enjoyable to say.

          • 1benmenno

            How many points does it get in Scrabble?

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            132 if you do it right

      • 10thMountainFire

        MMA is a much more skilled event than two dudes ice boxing. I’m not defending MMA so much as I’m just highlighting the training required to fight in the cage vis a vis two dudes punching each other in the face.

    • Why

      When you say brief is that a typo where you meant to say beef or are you actually writing something for somebody?

      • 1benmenno

        Are you trying to be an ass or is it effortless?

        • Why

          Well it’s effortless, but I’m not trying to be an ass. I could certainly see a situation where a person would be writing that type of brief.

          • 1benmenno

            I meant legal brief but in a sense that could also mean beef.

          • Why

            Thanks. I hate to assume here because I’ve heard legal terms thrown around pretty recklessly on message boards before.

  • TomK

    Glad you addressed this. I really don’t know what the heck Emery was thinking. Does he have a history of this?

    • 10thMountainFire

      Uh… yeah, he sort of comes from the Belfour/Hextall school of angry netminders, yes.

      • 1benmenno

        Angry and with fists that are licensed to kill.

        • 10thMountainFire

          Big surprise this happened in Filthidelphia.

          • 1benmenno

            I know. Someone should do a study of sports culture per city. He never tried that shit in Chicago, did he?

          • 10thMountainFire

            Not that I recall. Belfour went after Probert on one occasion and had a few others where he clearly stepped over the line. But I don’t recall any Chicago netminder doing that since.

  • Z-man19

    hmmm, an NFL team suspends a guy for bullying a teammate and being an asshat but the NHL allows a guy to beat the hell out of another guy in the middle of a game and he starts the very next night.

    • JB

      Better still… an NHL goalie allegedly kidnaps and beats the pi$$ out of a woman and then is chosen to start the very next night.

      • VanDorp’sMullet

        ^This.

      • Z-man19

        even more disturbing