NHL: Dallas Stars at Chicago Blackhawks

How Summer Of Saad And Sharp Altered Hawks View

We awoke today, if you’re a tomato can like me who wakes up late during the summer because you don’t have anywhere to be, to the news that once again that the Hawks are doing everything they can to flog Bryan Bickell off their cap. But it might cost them Teuvo Teravainen in the process. Those who do not learn from history…

There is obviously shock value here. It’s no secret how we feel about Teuvo, despite the organization’s (intentional or not) bad-mouthing of him and/or misuse at given times. Teuvo is yet another piece who could have backed up the “core” when their age and mileage (or stomach, in some cases) starts to show (which isn’t far off).

However, look a little deeper and you can see what Stan sees on the horizon. There’s an expansion draft coming, and the Hawks have so many NMCs that they are forced to protect that they simply might not be able to keep Teuvo. I’d have to guess he’d be one of the more attractive assets on offer for Vegas if it comes to that. Perhaps Stan is once again realizing he might do what he can to get anything instead of losing yet another asset for nothing.

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We Like To Watch – June 2nd: High Speed Dirt (Penguins 2-1 Sharks)

Well I didn’t get that one right. I thought the Sharks’ PP would clock the Penguins’ high-action PK (they only got one look). I thought the Sharks would get a better handle at the pace the Penguins play. They didn’t, though Martin Jones almost made it hold up to take a split back to California. Wasn’t to be though when the Penguins ran a pretty brilliant play off a faceoff in overtime.

Only when San Jose’s top line is on the ice are they consistently getting things going, because those guys are generally skilled enough to weave around the Penguins flying at them and then can mash them along the boards until something else opens up. All the other Sharks’ lines are having problems.

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We Like To Watch – June 1st: You Go Your Way And I’ll Go Mine (Sharks at Penguins Game 2 Preview)

shark vs. Ron-Cey

PUCK DROP: Just after 7pm Central


THOSE HYPERVENTILATING: Pensblog, Pensburgh, Battle of Cali, Canafornians

Figure with only the one game we can give it the usual preview treatment.

You may recall a few years ago, when people still scoffed at the idea of puck possession and Corsi and all that and that having the puck was a good thing (hey that’s today too!), there were some out there who claimed, usually from Toronto, that they were opportunistic. That they played counter-attacking and hence would purposely give up the puck to then spring out faster when it was turned over.

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We Like To Watch – May 31st – Jeremy Jacobs’ Nightmare

The “Fuck Boston” aspect of this series really isn’t getting enough play. While most are quick to rightfully piss all over Steve Simmons and his vendetta against Phil “Nice Guy, Tries Hard” Kessel, the fact that this is even a storyline along with Joe Thornton is because of the Bruins’ utter ineptitude in the front office. The entire organization perpetuates the city’s self-inflated image of being blue collar white guys getting by on minimal skill. It’s why Joe Haggerty has a dog named Looch and still has a priapism as a result of Shawn Thortnon’s leadership.

The first round picks this team has traded away is almost as staggering as the horseshit return they’ve received for them. Joe Thornton for Marco Sturm and Wayne Primeau. Kessel for picks. Blake Wheeler for Boris Valabik and Rich Peverley (sky point). Tyler Seguin (who was a pick in the Kessel trade) for a useful-but-who-gives-a-shit Loui Eriksson, and Dougie Hamilton (also a pick from the Kessel deal) for basically nothing. The pedigree they have shipped elsewhere because of some mythical and elusive notion of grit and leadership is truly amazing, added to the retrograde thinking at the highest levels of the team that have spearheaded three work stoppages. That they won a Cup in this era with this unbelievably bad asset management will go down as just as big of a “what the fuck?” cup winner as the Hurricanes once history gives proper perspective.

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Remembering The ’15-’16 St. Louis Blues

Once again, we were asked to eulogize the St. Louis Blues upon their exit from the playoffs for Yahoo!’s Puck Daddy Blog. 

Slayed the dragon!”

That’s a phrase we’ve gotten used to around these parts. Upon this day when we come to mourn/kick dirt/wildly celebrate yet another Blues playoff exit before anything a banner would be raised for, It’s time to consider that. We heard it five years ago, when another continually good-but-not-good-enough team hellbent on measuring its manhood every shift beat a deeply flawed Hawks team, took the most amount of time to do it, and celebrated as if it was discovered drinking beer gives you superpowers. A team with Cup aspirations screaming out its lungs needing every bounce and break to beat a third-placed team. It was Vancouver then. It’s St. Louis now. That’s some company you keep, Blues.

The Blues told us that triumph in the 1st round signalled that everything was different. This win proved that they’d learned their lesson. No longer was this a disgusting organization run by calculating, ham-handed, born-on-third executives with a section of their fandom doing their best to prove that evolution does not actually exist and become the scorn of the rest of the hockey world.

Oh wait, we’re supposed to be talking about the Blues and not the Hawks. Sorry, back to that.

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Farewell Jon Cooper

While not a proper eulogy per se, over the past year, we’ve become intimately acquainted with the odd public speaking demeanor of Tampa Bay coach Jon Cooper, who comes across as an oily, depraved step-dad, complete with juris doctor in hand. Over that time, speculating on Jon Cooper’s extracurricular proclivities has become a running joke in these editorial offices that has simply been begging for an IPO. So in honor of Tampa’s ouster, we’re burying this on a holiday weekend Friday afternoon.

And as fair warning, things are going to get incredibly weird after the jump.

Please note, these #CooperFacts are parody and not actually true (that we are aware of), and that this reflects more on us than anything else. 

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