NBA Hall of Fame Induction Weekend

Michael Jordan Accepts The Stanley Cup

We here at C.I. are having a little trouble putting our thoughts into words. So we asked Michael Jordan to help us out, as we were inspired by his overly gracious and in no way vindictive Hall of Fame acceptance speech.

I’m so glad the guys at The Committed Indian have asked me to be here today and provide such a glorious service. There are so many people out there who made winning this Stanley Cup so special, I hope I can remember them all.

To all the fans and media who pushed for the Hawks to trade Patrick Kane for Ryan Miller last year. In the time Kane has racked up two Cup rings, Miller has five playoff wins. A trade that surely would have reshaped the franchise, indeed.

To the Vancouver Canucks and especially their fans, who have been the best comedy on television for years now. Remember when all those people acted like that win in the last week of the regular season was truly meaningful? Maybe they can hang another worthless banner in honor of it. Could go right next to the Marcus Naslund one or the one they have in honor of themselves. Not like they have much else to commemorate.

To the St. Louis Blues, who treat every game against the Hawks like the Super Bowl and then proceed to try and win it in all the ways that don’t matter. What’s that we always hear from Blues fans? How they have a real captain because he fights? Ours is only the second to win the Cup twice before the age of 25. Yours….wait, hold on…..yep, thought so, Backes just took another moronic penalty period late in the 3rd period.

To former St. Louis Gametime editor Sean Gallagher, who probably thought he would duck our barbs now that he’s “retired.” Writing in his program last year, Gallagher wrote something to the effect of now that the Blues were good again, he didn’t want them to become the Blackhawks, a supposed one-and-done team. My favorite quote, “..nobody thinks about the Hawks as Stanley Cup contenders any more….”

That’s actually correct, Sean. Nobody thinks of them as contenders. They think of them as two-time winners. It’s a big difference, but you wouldn’t know that in St. Louis, would you? Let it also be noted that this is the only correct thing Gametime has ever written about the Hawks. Or anything.

To the Red Wings fans who now will only invade our city once a year, and by invade I mean leave their apartment in Lincoln Park and Lakeview to come to the United Center and then talk about how “Detroit” they are. You always love to wave those four fingers at us. But you know, two in four years sounds a little better than one in 10 right now. It’s ok, you can keep yelling, “How many Cups have you won?” to everyone you see, especially the at the man behind the desk at the unemployment office.

To all those writers and experts who said the Hawks weren’t tough enough or gritty enough or didn’t fight enough. They couldn’t beat big nasty teams like the Kings and Bruins, who would run right over the Hawks pretty, pipsqueak hockey. Still waiting for that….

To those who hung Corey Crawford out to dry after Game 4 and somehow ignored Tuukka Rask giving up one more goal in that game. Well, Crow surrendered three since.

To those who have labeled Stan Bowman an idiot for trading DAT BIG BUCK guy. Well, there was Michael Frolik, Michal Handzus, Nick Leddy, Johnny Oduya, Michal Rozsival, Andrew Shaw, and Brandon Saad all playing key roles at points during the season on a Cup-winning team. It’s ok Stan, no one gave Jerry Krause any credit either, and he’s got a fucking banner in the U.C. That’s my fault, though. Because I’m still angry at you for trading Charles Oakley.

But mostly, and most sincerely, thanks to all of you who read this blog and make it so much fun for us to do. If you have a 10th of the amount of joy reading this as we do writing it, then we really are happy to help you through your day.

Champs. Can’t stop laughing.

 

 

 

  • trois murs

    loving the cup win, but im already excited to see how this offseason plays out. bryz buyout, wacky toronto trades, i’m sure it’s going to get even more bonkers over the next few weeks.

  • Joe DeTolve

    This is why the only time I yelled was when Kane got the Conn Smythe a true fuck you to “Da Fans”..and Crawford when he hoisted the cup..Being on the right side of the argument feels fucking awesome!

  • Stone Cutter

    EVERYTHING IS GLORIOUS

  • Oregon_hawk

    A well deserved, and well written, victory lap.

  • AirTrafficAJ

    What else can be said? This site is amazing, and it’s 60% of the reason I have an internet connection (The other 40% is divided as follows: Porn %25, Fantasy Baseball 9%, Deadspin 5%, “work” 1%). Thanks guys, can’t wait to read the offseason stuff.

    Seriously, the draft is Sunday. Get to work.

  • Oregon_hawk

    I took a brief glance at the cap situation.

    Really don’t see how we keep Bicks as well as kruger, leddy, Roz…

    No surprise. Next season, we’ll have some new faces and miss some old ones.

    • detroit must die

      Yeah I don’t see how we avoid parting with at least 4 or 5 guys. But that’s the nature of the beast. Krugs and Leddy being RFAs won’t have very much levrage , but the UFAs are probably moving on. It will be exciting to see how Morin, Hayes, Pirri, and others respond to the opportunity to seize an everyday roster spot.

      • MattC86

        It’s way too early to make this kind of judgment but I really have had no use for Jimmy Hayes in his big club stints thus far. Morin and Pirri I’m excited about, as I am for some of the D. I feel like I’ve seen more of Hayes and not been particularly impressed. We’ll see.

        • detroit must die

          I’m on the fence with Hayes. Reminds me somewhat of Byfuglien’s first call ups. Tons of size, decent hands, needs to become a stronger skater. I would say that his skating would limit his future in this system, but then Handzus happened.

    • MattC86

      Yeah, and with the compressed schedule, guys are going to be gone by the time the parade is over.

      I bet Stan tells Bickell this week exactly how high he can go, and if Bickell says no, watch for a draft-day rights trade.

      Zeus I hope retires. I admit to being completely wrong about him, but want him to go out on top and not be the #2 center next September.

      Rozy will be the tough choice. Huge piece of the puzzle this year, but given there are some young guys – Cledening, Olsen, Stanton – and only one top 6 D spot open, I think he probably goes. Sad but true. His fate will really determined by what happens to Leddy. I don’t think Stan will match a ridiculous offer for him or for Kruger. If Leddy takes a big offer sheet somewhere, maybe Rozy comes back.

      Stals and Emery will be gone. The big question mark to me is Bolland. I bet he gets one more year since Danault probably won’t be ready for the big time next season.

      • 07GreyDigger

        I don’t see how Rozy is a tough choice. He was solid at times, but he also looked slow and old. I don’t want them to resign him and watch him fall off the old man cliff. As for Bickell, he’s a goner. Remember how bad Bickell used to look? That’s what I see in Jimmy Hayes, he’ll get there.

        • MattC86

          Rozy was great for us, especially with Leddy getting his ass stapled to the bench for Games 3-6. No, he wasn’t Keith, but he was steady and reliable and physical. You’re right, he could go off the old man cliff, but he wasn’t going to get more than a 1-2 year deal anyway.

          • 07GreyDigger

            True. I wasn’t upset by Rozy’s play by any means, but there were points in the series he looked tired and old. I can’t imagine a short off season would help alleviate that any. With Brookbank signed for another year and Leddy likely to get better over this experience, I don’t see a real need for Rozy unfortunately.

        • Shooter

          Great point! Jimmy’s got the size..just needs to work on balance! We still have morin waiting in the wings with pirri and smith…plus saad should be getting better as well.

    • Z-man19

      All boils down to what Stan does with Bolly, move him and the possibilities get more diverse

      • detroit must die

        Yep. Can’t help but think we’ve seen Bolly play his last game for the Hawks. Perhaps Fro too.

        • Z-man19

          If I’m Stan, I’m shopping Bolly and would try pretty hard to move him. I haven’t really considered moving Fro, he’s RFA after this contract so maybe keep him

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            I’m not sure anyone else sees what the Blackhawks see in Fro. How many other teams need a shutdown winger more than a scoring winger? We have an embarrassment of riches, i tells ya.

          • Z-man19

            Not for 2.3 mil, he’s overpriced, but I’d keep him just for the PS fun

      • MattC86

        I really think he’ll be around next year, unless somebody really feels Danault is up for the challenge. Since nobody assumes Zeus will be back, we’re really going to dump two of our four centers? Kruger can shift back to 4C, but I’m not sure they want to turn over the 2C and 3C spots right now to Pirri and two CHL guys (Danault and McNeil)?

        • MattC86

          Well, and Shaw, but still not sure.

    • Oregon_hawk

      Its possible we see Smith on the 4th line next year. Telling that when Hossa was out, it was Smith that filled in.

      • Shooter

        I’m very happy to see smith next season…truth be told, smith kruger frolik shaw, is a hell of a group of youngsters..all averaging about 5’10 and 180lbs.

    • MySpoonIsTooBig

      Don’t forget about the likelihood of using compliance buyouts on 1 or both of Montador and Olesz. If both get bought out that adds about $5M of cap space without losing anyone from the Cup roster

    • red palace

      Who is going to be next year’s Rozsival? Near the end of his career, never won the Cup. When he is looking at free agents this summer, Stanbo should just carry around a photo of Rozsy getting his hands on the chalice last night. Good advertising.

      • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

        Douglas Murray? HAAAAAAAAAAAA.

  • detroit must die

    Best franchise of the salary capped era has a nice fucking ring to it. Thanks to the ToS for another great season. Reading you guys for the better part of four years now you guys have become an intrinsic part of Blackhawks Hockey to me.

  • theHawk

    /Slams mic down….
    //Eats a Boston Cupcake
    Well done.

  • Josh

    Reading this made my day even better

  • Razzberry

    Who is the other captain with two SC wins by age 25? (Also, technically, Toews is already 25)

    • Z-man19

      Gretzky, you might have heard of him

  • Kevin

    I used to take so much shit from Red Wings fans for us not having any and them having 4 of them in the modern day era. Now, I can live without that feeling of being inadequate.

  • Oregon_hawk

    Oh, and when I finish my degree and make some F***ing money, I’ll contribute my financial support, as well as my vocal support.

    • AirTrafficAJ

      Get on the waiting list now, and you can have tickets by 2020!

  • laaarmer

    The best thing for me is that I have not heard a word from the Hillbillies today. Usually these fucktards will chime in about how they got screwed, the referees, Yzerman, Howe, etc. Today, not one word from any of them. The “slow burn” is the best as I have not said anything. I did however post the picture of Shaw with the blood, the cup and the champagne, because if you like hockey, you like that picture. The only thing that would be better, will happen in an upcoming season, and I cannot wait for that to happen. Good luck in the East. Be careful what you wish for because you got it.

    • Why

      Toews is the new Yzerman. You don’t have the Yzerman anymore, Detroit.

    • bizarrohairhelmet

      Shawrry’s pic is my new FB pic.

  • derlemke

    That’s a big fat zing! Love it!

  • Kevin

    What we learned about this 2013 Stanley Cup run:

    1. The Blackhawks are incredibly resilient and beat the Rask who is the greatest goaltender who has ever played the game.

    2. The Hawks made Chara look weak and he is the greatest defenseman ever to play the game.

    3. Toews is actually more valuable than we think.

    4. Kane can play at an elite level, but only when he wants to … which is rare.

    5. Bickell is tough (played injured) and Bowman and company will need him for next year. We will see how loyal Bicks really is.

    6. Crow, who is the worst goalie ever to win a Stanley Cup, didn’t play that badly and can be trusted in big games. Despite being flawed by not having the ability to catch a puck, he can move around the net very well.

    7. Dave “Fucking” Bolland will be a mantra heard around the New England area for decades to come.

    8. We can win without Hossa. What a relief, too. Good riddance #81.

    9. This Hawks team is a very finesse team that doesn’t like to hit people. Despite having the toughness depravity, they still find ways to win.

    10. Hawks are good at facing adversity (down 3-1 against Detroit, down 2-1 against Boston) in must win big games.

    • Accipiter

      Ingmar Bergman, Kevin and Keenan.

      • laaarmer

        What happened to Ingmar?

        • Kevin

          Who is Ingmar??

          • Z-man19

            I’m guessing you’re related

          • laaarmer

            Jinx
            you owe me a coke.

          • Z-man19

            Fine, drive down here and collect

          • laaarmer

            Look out the window

          • Z-man19

            I don’t have any

          • laaarmer

            Oh yeah, the basement.

          • Z-man19

            I prefer doomsday shelter but you could call it a basement

          • cliffkoroll

            Fresca

          • 1benmenno

            It’s the Hossa thing, isn’t it?

          • Z-man19

            Or any of 7 others

          • laaarmer

            K
            E
            E
            N
            A
            N

          • Z-man19

            Eeanan?

          • laaarmer

            That second one is supposed to be at the angle, but look, it’s gone now!

          • Z-man19

            What’s gone?

          • laaarmer

            all gone

          • Z-man19

            He gone

          • laaarmer

            bye bye

          • laaarmer

            I went to college with a guy we used to call Z man. He’s a cop in Hoffman Estates now. Are you he?

          • Z-man19

            Negative, I’m not in law enforcement

          • laaarmer

            AH HA! You admit to being a thief, then.

          • Z-man19

            You’re and I admit nothing

          • laaarmer

            refresh. It’s very refreshing

          • Z-man19

            Yes it is

          • laaarmer

            It might be you.

    • Z-man19

      Couldn’t you have shortened this to 2 points, the other 8 are brutal

      • laaarmer

        2 points FTW

      • Kevin

        Let’s enjoy this Cup! I’m just pointing out observations that I made during this draining Cup run. This time wasn’t so easy and it kinda stressed me out.

        • MattC86

          Clearly. You’re not thinking straight.

        • Z-man19

          I suggest you stop typing, give your brain a rest, maybe you concussed yourself in all the hoopla

          • Kevin

            I think the points are obvious. Thanks for caring, though. :)

          • Z-man19

            I can’t help you then, I do have some land for sale though

          • laaarmer

            What is obvious?

          • Accipiter

            The points.

          • laaarmer

            “We will see how loyal Bicks really is”

            You mean he should not get paid more and stay here for less than he could make somewhere else? Here is where they didn’t pay him more or try during the season?
            I love him, but he’s going to be expensive, like Lucic.
            Yeah yeah his agent is a genius…….Bull sheepdip. He took what he could get, because he was not that good. He got better. He played great.

          • cliffkoroll

            a great deal is obvious, young laaarmer. like when to simply move along.

          • pompoon

            Maybe he watched a different season than the rest of us?

          • Z-man19

            2002?

          • Accipiter

            Was Hossa worth a damn that year ?

          • Z-man19

            OMG HE WAS A BEAST

        • Joe Banks

          NBC and CBC stressed me out with their one sided comments. Kevin was clearly mocking their one sided commentary. Tukka Rask is the greatest goalie in the world, Chara is the greatest defenseman of all time. We all need to accept that, or HIT THE MUTE BUTTON!

    • bizarrohairhelmet

      11. Time Mug!

    • BigCSouthside

      We can win without hossa

      Except for that time he was out and we didnt

      • Accipiter

        Oh dear, one of Kevin’s points has been exposed.

        • Why

          They’re all awesome examples of mismatched logic, backhanded compliments and sarcastic hyperbole . I actually enjoy reading this stuff. It makes my thinking clearer.

          Chara’s great but I don’t know if you could find a single person who would call him the greatest defencemen in Bruin’s history. “Toughness depravity” is just a flat out hilarious phrase to apply to guys who made it to the Stanley Cup finals. The guy who was just voted the most outstanding player of the playoffs rarely plays at an elite level. “Worst goalie to win the Stanley Cup” is untrue but even if it wasn’t, it’s the equivalent of being Kate Upton’s least attractive breast.

          • laaarmer

            I’m going with right

          • 1benmenno

            Good luck finding out.

          • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

            Fuck me. It’s crappy work, but I’ll write up a report … I’ll see what Google images can do to help through the initial stages.

          • Why

            It’s been an hour, not Chico. I’m assuming you need more time?

          • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

            They’re like their own Stanley Cup/s. Two very even teams there. It may take 6 games or so before I can finally say for certain which side is best.

          • Why

            “Small sample size” seems like an oddly inappropriate phrase right now.

          • Accipiter

            I’m partial to the left side, always have been.

          • Why

            I’m still waiting for “Toews is the worst captain to have ever won the cup twice by the age of 25.”

          • Accipiter

            Well, you only have 2 choices, one choice is better than the other.

          • Why

            Yeah, but it’s still weird to decide that’s the comparison you want to make. Same with Crawford.

          • http://www.thecommittedindian.com/ PowrFwd37

            To be fair, he really doesn’t fight all that much.

            Not as much as David Backes, or Sidney Crosby anyway.

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            There were only two and Cap’n has a ways to go before he surpasses Paulina Gretzky’s father.

          • Kevin

            With Chara, I was making fun of the Boston press, ESPN, and other goon media sites who were calling him one of the best ever.

            Almost every media outlet including NBC with Roenick and Milbury were pretty much labeling the Hawks as soft and no match to the BIG, BAD … Bruins. It was like a joke and an insult to the reality.

            Craw really got the shit kicked out of him in the press and in Boston with the fans. They were making him sound like he had no business being out there and were pretty much comparing him to a high school level goaltender with his “glove catching” flaws.

            But hey, if we beat Rask, who is the greatest goalie to ever play, we are really that much more special for winning the Cup.

          • Why

            I prefer to believe you are doing shtick. Because it’s a pretty well executed shtick.

          • ahnfire

            Now everyone, if you look up, you’ll see proof that comedy is indeed an art form and is not as easy as people seem to think it is.

            Witness the internet user, in an attempt to use satire and sarcasm, miss every single comedic beat.

            It’s like watching a newborn giraffe attempt to walk, only to fall flat on its face, which is a form of comedy in and of itself.

          • Why

            Everybody’s mileage differs on that sort of stuff, though, and I’m enjoying it in the same way I enjoyed “Norm MacDonald does Bob Saget Roast.”

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            As a comedic genius, Norm knew he had to commit and sell the act and it was effing hilarious. Kevmo’s problem is that he states earnest stuff with the same voice as the farcical stuff.

          • Why

            You think that stuff’s earnest? Maybe you’re right.

          • ahnfire

            Yes, but the difference is that while everyone’s comedic taste is different, a good comedian is able to perform in a way that a layperson is able to understand that it is supposed to be comedy.

          • Why

            Still like the comparison. I remember the crowd watching that one in stunned silence.

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            Not much comedy in this one: “5. Bickell is tough (played injured) and Bowman and company will need him for next year. We will see how loyal Bicks really is.” or this “10. Hawks are good at facing adversity (down 3-1 against Detroit, down 2-1 against Boston) in must win big games.” Mind you, I don’t actually mind the try-to-figure-out-when-i’m-being-an-ass ruse, but its not effective.

    • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

      … “having the toughness depravity” is one of my new favourite, umm, quotients.

      • 1benmenno

        I totally conquibulate.

        • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

          I do appreciate of your distracity. Numerous gratitude.

          • http://www.thecommittedindian.com/ PowrFwd37

            We’re really using our vocutilaries here today!

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            Indubleiously

          • cliffkoroll

            it’s a perfectly cromulent word.

          • Waylon

            he’s definitely edumacated.

    • DJ

      Despite having the toughness depravity.

      The word you’re looking for, dunce, is “disparity.” As in, “due to the disparity in intelligence between Kevin and pretty much every other poster on this board, he invariably makes a fool out of himself.”

    • Jim A

      Kevin has to be Ingmar. Can’t be two people this willfully ignorant posting here.

    • ahnfire

      I’m trying to decide if you’re really this stupid or you’re going for the “so far off it’s funny”.

      • Z-man19

        This comment is consistent with ones made in the 3rd period thread last night

        • ahnfire

          oh yes, I know. I’ve been reading.

          • Z-man19

            DON’T YOU EVER MISS AN SCF THREAD AGAIN

          • ahnfire

            I had to!! They won the last 3 games I wasn’t on the thread!

            THE POWER OF SUPERSTITION COMPELLED ME.

          • Why

            Never fuck with something that’s working. It probably didn’t matter but what if it would have.

          • http://www.thecommittedindian.com/ PowrFwd37

            For the record…

            After game 3, I received and switched to a brand new green Blackhawks T-shirt, switched from regular marshmallows to Red, White, and Blue Star-shaped marshmallows, and have not been here for the GDTs…

            Until there was 58 seconds or so left in the game, because why?

            it was working…

            The power of superstition, indeed!

          • steeg of their own

            I stayed off during the second and third period for the same reason.

        • Waylon

          Yeah, so nice try on the “but don’t you guys get it, I was being ironic?” No, you weren’t.

          • Waylon

            and he was insufferable last night. Hossa’s a pussy not like Shaw, the Hawks suck the backside. Everything and the kitchen sink, really.

  • TheScribe

    Going on 18 hours … I still don’t know what the hell happened. This just doesn’t happen for Chicago sports fans. Wire to wire greatness. A stunning end. No pending salary-cap purge. Don’t wake me up.

  • shinkicker

    This is the exact kind of reveling in it/being a sore winner that I needed. now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go roll around on the floor in glee again

  • AirTrafficAJ

    If the whole “Stanley Cup Winning” thing isn’t enough to make you smile, this should:

    The Canucks have 9 forwards and 6 Dmen signed for next season, and have $47,000 in cap space to fill out the rest of their team.

    • Accipiter

      Plus Torts.

      • Sparky_The_Bard-barian

        They need Keenan. And you can put your pants on now.

        • laaarmer

          Keenan and Torts together. The two headed monster.

    • MySpoonIsTooBig

      Well when they buy out Ballard and Booth and trade Luongo that’ll open up close to $15m in cap space, of course that also brings them down to 8 F’s, 5 D, and 1 G…

    • http://www.thecommittedindian.com/ PowrFwd37

      WOW.

      And to think, they fired Alain Vigneault, but KEPT GMMG!

      • http://www.thecommittedindian.com/ PowrFwd37

        Also fun to think about…

        The cap comes DOWN next season.

        Anyone need a lightly used Sedin?

        • http://www.thecommittedindian.com/ PowrFwd37

          There might be one from a smoke free home, on VancouverBookoo.com real soon!

  • bizarrohairhelmet

    We’re going to be insufferable, aren’t we?

    • 1benmenno

      Make it so

    • DaveM36

      Fucking great, ain’t it?

    • Z-man19

      Why change now?

    • steeg of their own

      It’s gonna be grand!

    • cliffkoroll

      *insufferabler

      • bizarrohairhelmet

        so very true

      • ChicagoNativeSon

        I blame Michael Jordan, he’s an *insuffer-abler.

        • Accipiter

          Man, that Michael Jordan is so phony.

    • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

      I willingly and happily choose to suffer all of you.

    • Shooter

      They are who we thought they were!!! And we let em off the hook!!

  • DaveM36

    This is the kind of pure gold material that makes your guys’ site worth reading every single day. Standing O.

    On a related note, I heard someone pose this question today and I couldn’t come up with an answer. When was the last time you saw a hockey game where both squads pulled their goalie in the final minutes? Forget that it was Game 6 of the SCF, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen that in the NHL.

    • 1benmenno

      Good point. I’m still trying to wrap my head around all the things that happened at the end.

      • Z-man19

        Cliff wrote a nice story about it, you should check it out

        • 1benmenno

          where?

          • laaarmer

            over there

          • Z-man19

            Chapter 1 is in one of the post game threads, Chapter 2 is in the morning links I believe

        • cliffkoroll

          awwww

          • Z-man19

            Always loved bear stories, you add goldilocks and you have a real winner

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            and eeeeeemediately banned at scOc for posting it there

    • ‘hawks58

      I don’t think the Kings had pulled Quick, but this is similar to game 2 of the Kings-Sharks series. Shaaarks up 3-2 with less than 3 to go, take 2 dumb penalties, Kings score one PP goal with less than 2 left, then another 22 seconds later to take the lead.

  • Research Analysis

    Bolland’s goal will stay with me forever. It was eerily reminiscent of Henderson’s goal in 1972, the most famous goal in hockey history. Heard today that Bolland’s was the latest Cup winner to have ever been scored n regulation. Got confirmation today that my little wager on the Hawks at 14-1 to win Stanley placed in January was a “win.”

    • Fleshrifle

      In 2010 my 2 year old daughter ate my 19-1 $20 ticket. I have it in 3 pieces in a frame. This morning, I had her help me seal the envelope to collect on this years.

  • Sparky_The_Bard-barian

    Um, is it still okay to bitch about Kitch?

    • 1benmenno

      I’d rather komplain about Kompon.

      • Z-man19

        Or query Quennville

        • 1benmenno

          Kvetch about Keenan?

          • DaveM36

            Suppose about Suhonen?

          • 1benmenno

            Mull over Murdoch?

          • DaveM36

            Haggle over Hartsburg?

          • 1benmenno

            Yap over Yawney?

          • cliffkoroll

            Stew over Sutter?

          • 1benmenno

            Whine about White?

          • 1benmenno

            Pout over Pulford?

          • Accipiter

            Jerk over Jacobs ?

          • 1benmenno

            Pile on Pilous?

          • Korab22

            Ruminate over Reay?

          • 1benmenno

            Mutter about Molleken?

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            uh…

          • Z-man19

            Glad I wasn’t the only one

          • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

            New theme! New theme!

          • 1benmenno

            Gripe about Graham?

          • 1benmenno

            Tut about Tessier?

          • 1benmenno

            (I really like this one.)

          • Joe Banks

            Opine about Alpo?

        • cza

          Wail about Walkom?

  • laaarmer

    You think Savvy could have won two cups?

    • OMFS88

      Nope.

  • busta keaton

    REVERSE EULOGY

  • Research Analysis
  • Accipiter

    Blackhawks were perfect when they had a chance to clinch this year.

    The Blackhawks won all four of their series in the 2013 playoffs in the first game in which they had a chance to eliminate their opponent.

    • DesertHawk

      They’ve been 10-2 in elimination games with Crow.

      • ChicagoNativeSon

        And everyone else on the T-E-A-M.

        • DesertHawk

          Goalies are the only players who have wins or losses tracked. Trust me I’m not trying to take anything away from anyone else. No goalie has ever won a game to my knowledge.

  • CommonSense1957

    Great read — but you forgot Raffi Torres

    • adelfiacco

      He’s still not worth wasting anyone’s breath on.

  • cliffkoroll

    …and to the 1985 Chicago Bears: Fuck you and your unfulfilled promise.

  • cliffkoroll

    Q gets in on the act: “Bolly threw his gloves off,” chuckled Coach Joel Quenneville. “Tell him it wasn’t overtime. Game’s not over.”

  • mightymikeD

    Jesus Sam.. did you ever hear of “Taking the High Road” or “Winning Gracefully” or.. no… sorry. Can’t keep a straight face. Love it. A mention for all those scribes who were denouncing Toews as a choker would be fitting, too..

  • DJ

    The question you ask a Wings fan is the one they’re going to have to get used to pretty fucking quickly:

    Combien de Coupes Stanley avez-vous gagné?

  • pompoon

    That was one fantastic write-up. Also wow, it feels so good to gloat

  • DuHawk

    Game 6 being replayed on the NHL Network at 7:00 CT tonight. I can’t wait to see everything I missed while jumping around & screaming like an idiot.

  • Joe Banks

    I believe… I believe…

  • Accipiter
    • Z-man19

      He’s gonna bite Kaner

      • bizarrohairhelmet

        he’s gonna give Kaner such a gumming

        • Accipiter

          uh ..

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            oh, right, like everyone didn’t already know I meant blowjob.

    • Shooter

      Get that man some puddin!!!!!

    • AirTrafficAJ

      Holy fuck, even for hockey teeth those are scary as hell. He looks like something off The Walking Dead (which we now know is actually Patrice Bergeron)

  • Accipiter
    • bizarrohairhelmet

      Pretty sure Razr’s just dropping down to do some mad breakdancing and headspins of joy there.

  • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

    Another round of last night has started to settle in RIGHT NOW. I still … I just can’t believe this fucking shit!!!!

    GIFs! Pictures! Stories! Videos! Give me more! Emery fell DOWN!

    I’m stunned all over again. Games 2 and 3 … think of all the Boston shit that was being written after Game 3. We were done and out. I could barely watch the pre-game shit because it was so bruiny. And then we won three games.

    I’m just typing. Nervousness and amazingness again.

    • Accipiter

      I couldn’t watch/listen to the CBC pregame stuff after G1, Healy in particular ruined it for me.

      http://i1247.photobucket.com/albums/gg636/WMJav/88heartpunch.gif

      • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

        Healy and PJ Stock were AWFUL. These are ex-hockey players for god’s sake. Maroons.

        If I’m not mistaken, if my lip-reading skills are in tune, Kane just appears to have read a Poe short story and really liked it.

        • Z-man19

          Did Poe do ‘adult’ poems?

          • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

            Quoth the craven, ‘Lube it more’?

          • Z-man19

            Ha

        • cliffkoroll

          thump thump, thump thump

    • Z-man19

      It all happened so fast, I really thought they would score to tie, the second goal was hard to process

      • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

        This is part of it, eh? It just … I was resting my heart, readying and coming to grips with a Game 7. Then Bickell, and my heart raced thinking about overtime, then Bolland, and I was jumping up and down and clapping like I was about to have sex for the first time … except some force was making me celebrate like a four year old.

        • Z-man19

          Could you imagine had they done that at home?

        • Korab22

          And then to top it off they smothered them for the last 59 seconds. It was beautiful.

          • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

            I know!!!! It was insane! They barely got a whiff.

          • Z-man19

            They needed an intermission to regroup, they were done after Bicks goal, deer in the headlights

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            Rask staring up at the scoreboard after Bolly’s goal showed they were not coming back.

          • Z-man19

            I don’t think he could believe what just happened, hell I couldn’t

          • Accipiter

            Dave Bolland’s plan, ‘when I plan my attack, I doubt you’ll be ready’.

          • Z-man19

            Don’t forget Kruger, Oduya and Fro, if Fro doesn’t tip that, Bolly probably doesn’t score

          • Why

            I just love Bolland. World’s simplest great hockey player and I mean that as the highest compliment. Bolland talking to Scott Oake during Game 1 was a thing of beauty.

          • Accipiter

            The genius of Q. Word has it Bolland wanted nothing to do with playing the last minute of the 3rd because he was (if you believe it) nervous. Q told him to get out there.
            - I have no evidence that this happened, but heard it in a podcast today. Doesn’t seem too far fetched.

          • Why

            You just used Bolland and nervous in the same sentence and it wasn’t “Dave Bolland’s death stare makes me nervous.” Which podcast? Does Bolland know about this yet? Has anyone checked to make sure Quenneville is still ok?

          • Accipiter
          • mad-hatter

            Q used that line in closing out the fifth game, so it made sense he would use them closing out the sixth to guarantee OT. Was it the backhand shelf guys that said this?

          • Accipiter

            Yup.

          • mad-hatter

            I will have to listen to the podcast then. I can’t be bothered to do much of anything today other than look at photos/gifs/videos of last night.

          • Accipiter

            I put the link below or in a reply to Why, it’s here somewhere …

          • mad-hatter

            I’m subscribed on iTunes so it downloads automatically for me. I just haven’t listened to it yet.

          • Accipiter

            Noted.

          • mad-hatter

            Just listened, and didn’t hear them talk about Bolland outside of his goal.

          • Accipiter

            Well, I am going crazy now because I heard it somewhere today (I’ve had too much hockey related info) and if not there I can’t think of where. Until I remember I am a liar, I guess.

          • mad-hatter

            I just finished Marek vs. Wyshynski and they didn’t mention it either. It’s a mystery.

          • Accipiter

            I’m not even going to try to figure it out anymore. I have convinced myself I made it up, or had a vivid dream.
            /feels shame

          • mad-hatter

            Perhaps your vivid dream was actually how none of the Bruins wanted nothing to do with the final minute of the third because Dave Bolland was out there and he smelt blood in the water. The details just get lost when you wake up.

          • Accipiter

            I figured it out and re-watched it just to be sure. It was Michael Landsberg on a TSN show called ‘Off The Record, he discussed it with Rob Ray.

        • ahnfire

          when Bicks scored, I started screaming and high-fiving my friend next to me. We both calmed down to prepare for OT and then laughingly started yelling at the television for the Hawks to score again.

          Then Bolland scored and I almost knocked over the bar stool, shrieking like a banshee.

          • Z-man19

            Have you seen the video of the one Chicago bar? They recorded through both goals, like 2 min of video

          • ahnfire

            I’ve seen multiple videos – the one from Whirlaway & Pony Inn, I believe.

            My experience was similar, except I was one of two Hawks fans. Everyone else was not-Boston fans, so they tended not to scream as long as I did over goals/winning/everything.

          • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

            Do you have a link??

          • Z-man19

            I’ll have to look for it, saw it on twitter I would’ve fit right in minus my kids running in to see why I was screaming

          • ahnfire
          • Z-man19

            You’re the best Ahn

          • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

            Thanks!

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            that was fun

    • ahnfire

      did you see the video of Tazer mic’d up for the Cup raise?

      you can see Frolik jumping up & down on the ice waiting for Tazer to hoist it

      • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

        Ha! No, I didn’t see that. Funny, huh, how a sport can force you to be in love with the world? Love this stuff.

        • ahnfire
          • Why

            That’s awesome. I’m still trying to figure out what Kane was saying to him while Kane was holding the Conn Smythe and Toews was laughing.

          • Z-man19

            We’re tied

          • Why

            Gotta be something along those lines, doesn’t it?

          • laaarmer

            Gold Medal beats Calder

          • DesertHawk

            Ah… but does Gold beat Silver and Calder?

          • Why

            Yes. I’m Canadian. We don’t count silver medals unless they are in something like bobsledding.

          • DesertHawk

            You’d think Canada would count every one they could :P

          • Why

            Oh, we do. When the Olympics start, we will have long feature pieces on the biathlete who finished third. Skeleton “players” (I have no idea what to actually call them is it “Skeletoners”) will get more television time than anyone will think possible. I’ll pretend to care about sports I never watch because it only seems fair to people that only get those sorts of chances every 4 years.

            There will also be very good, single elimination hockey. It’s going to be fun.

          • DesertHawk

            With the exception of Hockey sports are of no interest to me, until the Olympics rolls around. It’s fun being a shameless America homer for a few weeks. Also the obscure sports are fun to watch, we aren’t nearly as good at it as Canada, but I really like watching curling… I have no idea why.

          • Why

            Curling is just such a slow game that that the pressure really builds. And the shots are relatively quick. If you like instant analysis and second guessing, Curling is awesome.

          • chidiver

            I love “sports” that can be played while holding a beer

          • Why

            I have aunts that would kill you. Sweeping is important.

          • chidiver

            Nice thing about putting your beer down on an ice sheet…it stays cold. Sweep..drink..fall on ass because ice is more slippery when you’re drunk (that’s pretty much the sum of my experience with curling).

          • Why

            Your skip sounds relaxed. I like your skip.

          • mad-hatter

            During 2010 I had a friend that started watching curling as a joke, but by the end of it he was coming to me and ranting about possible strategies. I understood how brainwashing worked after that.

          • DJ

            Participants in the sport of skeleton are known as “sliders.”

          • Why

            That could be really well played or it could be informative.

          • chidiver

            Or “nuts who slide down bobsled runs face first on a little carbon fiber sled”

          • steeg of their own

            Or simply, “nuts”.

          • laaarmer

            If you ain’t first….

  • ballyb11

    Where’s Marcus Kruger??

    On the ice for a lot of really important goals over the last several weeks.

  • Jim

    Fuck yes. plus Dave Bolland is my new personal hero

  • pompoon
    • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

      Captures the two personalities pretty perfectly. Toews is the “No really, I love you, man” guy, and Kane is the giggler, no clue how to react.

    • ahnfire

      I love that pic. I think someone else labelled it “happy drunk & emotional drunk”

      • pompoon

        Oh my god, Toews is the emotional drunk

      • Fleshrifle

        Emotional Drunk: “Connie?!?…ok but I still have a gold medal bitch”
        Happy Drunk: “And when I win it in February, only 2% of the population in the US will care…sweet”

        • Why

          If that’s what he actually said, he’s just lucky Toews is in a good mood.

    • mad-hatter

      and may there be many more of these for years to come

  • bizarrohairhelmet

    I like how hockey analysts kept saying that Rask’s aggressive challenges were going to leave him vulnerable at some point…because that’s exactly why Bolly scored.

  • laaarmer

    So, now what do we do? Baseball, golf, auto racing? Did you see that guy walk across the grand canyon?

    • Why

      Cap talk and baseless speculation?

      • Accipiter
        • Why

          Yeah, I saw that. Wait until the media takes a better look at Keith’s contract.

          • Accipiter

            The Sabres one was the best.

            Buffalo Sabres, Darcy Regier: Remember as a child when you heard a scary noise or envisioned a boogeyman in your closet and your instinct was to hide under your covers? Well in the NHL, Sabres fans are the children and Darcy Regier is the boogeyman and the covers aren’t protecting you from his next poor signing. He’s already told the media he won’t use any buyouts, so Ville Leino isn’t going anywhere. Even worse, the Sabres have significant cap room, even if he doesn’t deal Ryan Miller or Thomas Vanek, so when you hear that scary noise on July 5, it’s like the boogeyman negotiating a contract with Bryan Bickell.

          • Z-man19

            I’m a little shocked his entire focus was on Hossa for the Hawks, I get the issues with his contract but that’s not the only option

          • Why

            I’ll give the author that one. You’re trying to find the most shocking potential moves and Hossa’s potential cap hit way down the road might be a problem.

            I more enjoyed the fact that I just read that someone’s going to give Ribeiro 4.5-5 million and I nodded. And then laughed. And then realized I was hoping Bickell could be signed for around 2.5.

          • Z-man19

            You might get him for 3-3.5

          • Accipiter

            Why has that kind of money ?

          • chidiver

            Its the weak dollar. That’s like $2.50 Canadian

          • Why

            Shit, I was just going through my piggy bank. I think the exchange rate might be the killer.

          • Z-man19

            You don’t?

          • Accipiter

            Not the only option and who knows if they can buy him out this year, he will likely need some work done to his back.

          • Z-man19

            I’ll agree with one thing he said, it’s gonna be fast and furious. Good point about Hossa

    • Z-man19

      Lets review stats from the season, you take CORSI, I’ll take Fenwick

    • Accipiter

      X games.

      • Why

        We’re still within the 24 hour mark. What’s the Corsi/Fenwick of the X games?

        • DesertHawk

          Yes

        • Accipiter

          You’d love it, no stats.

          • Why

            I would have assumed possession of bike was at least as important as possession of puck.

          • DesertHawk

            Depends on the sport. Possession of bike in speed climbing, is really problematic.

      • laaarmer

        I just watched Waynes World with my kids.

        Excellent!

    • chidiver

      Wimbledon, Tour de France…maybe leave my home for the first time in two months.

  • DesertHawk

    A moment of poor sportsmanship on my part. To everyone who tried to convince me last season that Crow was a waste and was just a flash in the pan his rookie year, and ignored all of my arguments about sophomore slumps…. I told you so.

    • birdhead

      I love how much you love Crow, man.

    • Why

      He was not good last year. They have to let him go to Sochi now.

      I’m already looking forward to next year. “No fair. All of our players are so good that they play Olympic hockey too.”

      • DesertHawk

        He slumped last year, just like every other NHL goalie does in their second year. Someone’s a poor sport giving me downboats…

        • Why

          Cup winning off-seasons are for gloating. Except for the players. They have to get back to work relatively soon to address my niggling complaints. “You didn’t look fresh enough in triple overtime, reigning Conn Smythe Winner Patrick Kane. You are spending the summer at Keith’s house.”

          I’m also looking forward to the off-season comment knife fights about which players have to be kept.

          • DesertHawk

            I’m one of those people that wishes we could keep them all… I get too attached, especially when they give me cup.

          • Why

            It’s why the arguments will be kind of fun. They may start with “I like this awesome guy more than that awesome guy” but I trust they will end with “Bickell is a flash in the plan and Hossa is the greatest two way player ever” or “Bickell is Neely, only healthy, and Hossa’s an old man who can barely skate.”

          • DesertHawk

            *whispers* flash in the PAN *whispers*

            I’ll probably stay out of it, unless someone talks shit about Crow.

          • Why

            “WE CAN’T AFFORD TO PAY FOR A TOP TIER GOALIE AND MR. COULDN’T EVEN WIN THE CONN SMYTHE ISN’T WORTH THE MONEY. WHAT ABOUT THAT GUY WE JUST GOT FROM EUROPE THAT I’VE NEVER WATCHED PLAY FOR ANY EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. WE SHOULD JUST START HIM.”

          • laaarmer

            Toivonen.

            LADY!

          • 1benmenno

            Frink’d

          • DesertHawk

            Flames would consume them from their computer monitor.

          • Bannerman

            flash in the plan…all along?

        • bizarrohairhelmet

          It isn’t easy to love a downboater. This goes against your most basic internet blog instinct, but it can be done and turned to an advantage.

          Let the love squirt out of you like a fire hose of molasses. Give the downboater the kiss of life. Stick your tongue down the boater’s throat and taste what he has been eating and bless his digestion. Ooze down into his intestines and help him along with his food.

          Let him know you revere his down-boating rectum as part of an ineffable hose. Make him understand that you stand and lick it off his genitals as part of the Master Plan.

          Boats in all of their rich variety, do not falter. Let your love of boats enter into him and penetrate him with a divine lubricant. Makes KY and Lanolin feel like sandpaper. It’s the most muscologinous, the slimiest, ooziest lubricant that ever was or shall be.

          • Z-man19

            That’s what I’m talking about

          • 1benmenno

            The King of Sardonica has spoken.

          • chidiver

            I’m sure this is some cultural/music reference I don’t get, but it gets my nomination as one of the more disturbing posts of the season.

          • Why

            The season is over. We won. No disrespect, I just like repeating that as often as possible.

            But this is the early favourite for next season.

          • cliffkoroll

            I downboated. But then I confessed.

            Why don’t I just reverse the downboat? Why?

        • cliffkoroll

          Meh. Downboats are like penalties in hockey. If you ain’t pickin’ up a few here and there…

          I say ‘Downboat away, fuckers!’

  • DesertHawk

    http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=675254&navid=DL|NHL|home

    Top 20 Cup memories in the last 5 decades. We’re on there twice.

    • Accipiter

      What the Hawks did in game 6 has never happened to clinch the cup.

      First-of-its-kind comeback wins the Cup for Chicago

      The Blackhawks won their second Stanley Cup championship in four years with a stunning comeback on Monday night. Chicago trailed, 2-1, with less than 90 seconds remaining in the third period and the series seemingly headed for a decisive seventh game, but Bryan Bickell tied the score at 2-2 with 1:16 left to play and Dave Bolland scored the game- and Stanley Cup-winning goal with 58.3 seconds remaining in the third period. The Blackhawks are the first NHL team to ever win a Stanley Cup Final game in regulation time after trailing in the final two minutes of the third period. -Elias Sports Bureau

      As Hawks fans we were treated to an incredible playoffs this year. A run that had so many moments of excellence that we should marvel in. There is a reason many of us couldn’t believe what happened in game 6, it’s because it never happened before. This team likes to make history.

      • DesertHawk

        I’m really hoping the book will have a breakdown of all the team/individual/franchise records that were broken/tied during this run. It was thoroughly epic, and while I’d have remembered it no matter what the outcome was, the fact that we won it all, just makes it sooooo much better.

        • Why

          I’m still wondering what the fastest two goals by one team in playoff history is.

          • DesertHawk

            Hmm… I don’t even know how to go about looking that up.

          • mad-hatter

            google is our friend. Don’t think anyone will like the answer:

            0:05, Detroit Red Wings, vs. Chicago Black Hawks, 2nd period, April 11, 1965.
            Goals scored by Norm Ullman at 17:35 and at 17:40.

            from http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/feature/?id=29

          • DesertHawk

            I ain’t even mad… they might own the the past, but we’ll always been the ones who kicked them out of the Central Division.

          • Accipiter

            That is also the past.

          • DesertHawk

            Legit, but it’s the last entry in the history books as far as their time as our biggest rivals.

          • mad-hatter

            It’s hard to be mad about anything right now. Mmmm Stanley Cup….

          • Why

            Google does not like me nearly as much as it likes you. If you can find where last night ranks, I’d appreciate it.

            Also, suck it, Norm Ullman. Your team ultimately lost that series.

          • mad-hatter

            That I can’t find. It’s probably locked in the nhl records book somewhere.

      • Z-man19

        The entire season is something to remember, we may never see anything this good again

        • 1benmenno

          Please don’t make me sad.

          • pompoon

            It’s alright…we’ll always have this season!

          • Z-man19

            Sad? I’m just glad I got to witness greatness from my team

          • 1benmenno

            Yeah, I know. I am just trying to keep this giddy feeling in the present tense.

          • mad-hatter

            I’m on your side with this. But with this current core, anything can happen.

          • Z-man19

            I plan on being giddy for several months

          • 1benmenno

            Drugs?

          • Z-man19

            Following the Hawks training regime, lots of sex

          • 1benmenno

            I heard that next year they are going to start testing players suspected of having tremendous amounts of sex.

          • steeg of their own

            Welp, Kaner’s fucked.

          • mad-hatter

            Indeed, but will he be suspended?

        • Accipiter

          See, you get what I meant. Not so thick anymore.

          • Z-man19

            Just give it a minute, I’ll prove you wrong

  • barnum22

    Sometimes Sam I’ll miss picking up my Indian in front of gate 3 and having that little banter with you before the games.But what a glorious season it was so let’s celebrate and enjoy it to its fullist.Will be reading everyday and look forward to seeing you when we raise our banner on opening night.

  • 1benmenno

    It was explained to me last night by a Bruins’ fan that the reason the Hawks won was because the Eastern Conference is better than the Western Conference. Seriously.

    • DesertHawk

      Wait… what?!

      • Why

        I demand a guest post. Is this one of those things where the Bruins were really drained from their difficult 4 game series?

        • 1benmenno

          The Bruins were drained by the regular season where they faced superior opposition, went the logic.

          • Why

            Interesting. Maybe they should have tried winning all their games at the start so they could clinch early. That seems to work.

          • pompoon

            So drained that they were only able to beat the Rangers in 5 games and sweep the Penguins then, I suppose.

          • Z-man19

            This the same guy that missed the last minute?

          • 1benmenno

            Yup. Ha!

          • Z-man19

            He needs a bigger bladder

          • 1benmenno

            No kidding. Serves him right for drinking all my beer.

          • Z-man19

            Better than all the prison wine

          • 1benmenno

            How many Mennonites do you take on a fishing trip? Two. If you take one, he will drink all of your beer. If you take two, they won’t drink any of your beer.

          • Z-man19

            Just when Accipiter thought I wasn’t thick

          • bizarrohairhelmet

            Also works with Mormons

    • mad-hatter

      I hope each Western team destroys the East next year.

      • 1benmenno

        That includes Scum, I suppose.

        • mad-hatter

          Of course. Although if two teams can succeed it should be Scum and #Lumbus.

          • 1benmenno

            I concur.

          • Accipiter

            #Lumbus wins the East, attribute ease of success to playing in tougher Western Conference…

          • pompoon

            I’d love to see #Lumbus start winning. I like watching teams that get no respect start to make good.

          • mad-hatter

            Me too! Especially when they’re no longer in the Hawks’ division. But they haven’t locked up Bob yet.

      • birdhead

        SAME.

    • steeg of their own

      /headtilt

      ORLY?

    • 10thMountainFire

      You need to stay away from the ESPN boards. They’re bad for the future of the human species.

    • cliffkoroll

      Heh. All roads lead to Rome.

    • Sparky_The_Bard-barian

      Following that logic, the Blackhawks are better than the entire eastern conference.

    • Paul the Fossil

      Here’s the fact to shut such fools up with. Between the two lockouts there were seven seasons in which these two conferences played games against each other. The West won the majority of those intraconference games in EVERY SINGLE ONE of those seasons. West 7, East 0.

  • Dangles-a-Plenty

    Tonight I got to touch the Stanley Cup. It was cold and clammy and I loved every second of that cold hardware… Honestly fucking unreal I really didn’t even know what the fuck I was doing. Talk about going into shock holy shit!

    • steeg of their own

      Good for you!

  • Sparky_The_Bard-barian

    because someone asked.

    • Fleshrifle

      That is the pretty version of the Fabulous Weapon hoisting Stanley. The version I have in my head haunting me is more fuzzy and slightly more scary. Something like this.

    • 10thMountainFire

      Why does that Bolland-stare seem to be directed towards Q?

  • Sparky_The_Bard-barian

    Because someone asked.

    • 10thMountainFire

      This is too fucking awesome. Too much awesome.

    • BigCSouthside

      EXACTLY what I was looking for. Well done.

    • derlemke

      It’s very grumpy cat-esque

    • ChiBlackhawks

      I would have taken the exclamation point out and replaced it with a period, but that’s a minor quibble in the face of awesomeness. Nice job.

      • ahnfire

        While “No.” would be good, I think “Fuck you.” would also work well there. ;)

  • Why

    Some of you might remember talking about trading Hossa for someone like Ovechkin, Washington buying out Hossa, Chicago buying out Ovechkin and then having both resign with original teams. Looks like a no go if Brooksie’s sources can be trusted:

    https://twitter.com/NYP_Brooksie/status/349663942722859008

    • 10thMountainFire

      People who wanted to trade Hossa were fucking stupid. We reminded them that they were stupid because they were too stupid to be cognizant of their stupidity. They were put back into their place.

      • Why

        If the Hawks could have kept Hossa at a lower cap hit and without the cap recapture penalty, I would have supported the move regardless of how it was described.

  • DesertHawk

    Kiprusoff has retired.

    • Fleshrifle

      Raise a glass to a a good one. Finnish goaltenders are fun to watch and he was the proto-type.

      • DesertHawk

        I’m glad we won’t have to try and score on the old fart anymore.

        • 10thMountainFire

          I’m glad we had Ray Emery to even it all up.

    • steeg of their own

      Everyone knew it was coming, it was basically a formality for him to announce it.

      Finland is still secure in goal for the big international tournaments as long as Rask stays healthy.

    • 10thMountainFire

      He was a good one.

  • 10thMountainFire

    So… Crow has to be on Team Canada now, right?

    • DesertHawk

      Who else could they pick?

      • 10thMountainFire

        That’s a good question…

        Anderson is ‘Merican. So is Quick. But I wouldn’t put it past Leafs fans to already be slotting Bernier…

        • DesertHawk

          His numbers were worse than Crows, and he’s a backup… I guess crazier things have happened.

          • 10thMountainFire

            That wouldn’t be ‘crazy’. It would be more appropriately filed under ‘fucking ridiculous’.

      • steeg of their own

        If they’re smart, they start Lu and carry Crow as backup.

        • 10thMountainFire

          Reverse that.

          • steeg of their own

            Lu has more experience, has played fine for Canada in key situations, and has done the Olympic poledance before. Start him, and if he’s not good they can do what they did in Vancouver and swap goalies mid-tourney.

          • 10thMountainFire

            But…but…but… Crow’s glove hand…

      • cliffkoroll

        Smith or Price maybe? Reimer? Canada kinda thin in net. Crow is definitely in the conversation, even ignoring the Cup. .926 regular season was #1 among his countrymen.

        • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

          Canada’s not thin anywhere!!! YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

  • Hack

    I tried to enjoy the Jordan-esque pimp hand that Fels just laid on a variety of haters, but the sting of the two fresh championship-ring-sized welts that Joel Quenneville just left on my face is enough to keep me subdued.

    I’m declaring a one-season (personal) moratorium on directly criticizing Joel Quenneville. I don’t think two cups completely invalidate all of my opinions on his tactics, but I think it’s fair to say that he’s owed some respect from his critics. I may still pop in and make friendly suggestions, but no direct criticisms until the summer of 2014. I’ll count on Cliff to hold me accountable………

    On a sentimental note, I wanted to let everyone here in the CI community know how disappointing it is that I can’t be around more often to enjoy this with all of you, and that feeling is obviously exacerbated by missing out on sharing in the collective joy that a championship brings to a community such as this. I’m working so much these days that I rarely get a chance to keep up with everyone’s comments and/or post some of my own, but I really appreciate everyone’s patience and welcoming nature when I do get some time to talk hockey here. The triumvirate, Fifth Feather, and all of the commenters here make being a Hawks fan exponentially better than it otherwise would be. I echo Sam’s gratitude to the readers, not just for reading this blog, but also for your commitment to my favorite team and its healthiest and most knowledgeable blogging community.

    Two……..

    • 10thMountainFire

      As someone who has spent three of the last five years in a country that has no connection whatsoever to hockey, I can’t thank you guys enough for putting out The Committed Indian. It’s often my best link back to the Hawks… everyone that participates in this site owes you guys a debt of gratitude and, personally, I’m happy that I have the opportunity to say ‘thanks’.

      Everyone who comments here, with very few exceptions, is a great ambassador for the franchise fan base and I can’t say enough how much it means to have you guys facilitate all of this.

      And as far as Q is concerned… he is what Ditka never was. It’s time the city recognized how incredible he has really been for our favorite franchise.

      Let’s get a third ring next year and put Q in the pantheon.

      • Sparky_The_Bard-barian

        This. In the city of Chicago, only George Hallas and Phil Jackson have won more titles.

    • cliffkoroll

      Bad idea. Pretty sure just about every one of your opinions, in and of itself, is valid, and virtually every comment you make adds to the acumen of this place, even if I don’t always agree with your larger narrative.

      You want to hold management’s feet to the fire, like they do in REAL hockey markets. Chicago’s just not there yet- we still don’t have the critical mass of diehard fans that much smaller cities (Canadian markets, Pittsburgh, Detroit) have. Give it a couple more years.

      In the meantime, people run with your opinions, unfiltered by nuance and context, and before you know it, the comment boards are filled with guys who think they should be running the zoo.

      This is a small price to pay for your contribution, of course.

      Moar Hack = better TCI.

      • Z-man19

        well said Cliff

    • Sparky_The_Bard-barian

      I’d like to think I would refrain from criticizing Q, but I know it won’t last. However, every time I ask, “Q, what the fuck were you thinking?”

      I will have this image in my head of Q flipping me off with BOTH middle fingers, each bearing a Stanley Cup Championship Ring.

    • Black JEM

      Yeah – going to have to cut Q some slack – the guys play for him, and I think this year he hopefully learned the value in not over coaching. While I was furious about breaking up 88-19-29 to start the Bruins series, we now know that Bicks was wounded – he had no choice.
      One other item, his record in games where his Hawks team can eliminate an opponent in the playoffs over the last 4 years is like 10-2, with one of those losses the overtime Game 7 against the Canucks two years ago where they staved off their own elimination for three prior games.
      Now – if he doesn’t fix the PP – whihc probably means axing his buddy Kompon – then I will complain. No excuse for that one!

    • http://www.lotsofbutterplease.com/ I am not Chico Maki

      You’re an insightful commenter/contributor, Hack, and I never fail to read and reflect on your opinions … I hope you don’t rope too much in when directing your eye toward Q. There will always be, it seems, the well of the PP to wonder about.

  • 10thMountainFire

    I haven’t been around here for a bit so please forgive the spewing of posts. But I wanted to say something about Tony Amonte’s comments last week.

    I was and remain a big fan of Tony Amonte. He truly was one of the more under-appreciated stars of Chicago sports during the 1990s. He was a consistent 40+ goal scorer in an era where he watched future HoF’ers like Chelios, JR, and Belfour traded away by a franchise owner that couldn’t give a flying fuck for anyone’s opinion aside from his own. The franchise that constantly kept Bob Pulford at the helm of personnel management, driving a franchise into the ground further and further each year apparently had regular run-ins with Amonte over his ‘lack of leadership’. I’ve heard a few stories about coaches and GM’s (Mike Smith, if I recall correctly) questioning Amonte’s commitment to winning. I was a staunch defender of Amonte and remain a fan to this day.

    However- his comments on Hoss last week were fucking brutal. Marian Hossa has been and will continue to be among the most popular Hawk players… maybe of all-time. His contributions to the turnaround the franchise has experienced in recent years cannot be quantified. Shoulder surgery, concussions, and back problems are openly understood to be ailments that Hoss has played and fought through. Amonte, a guy who never sniffed the Stanley Cup, should have known better than to run his mouth after having his own work ethic questioned when it was unduly criticized by the likes of GMs who couldn’t put a decent team on the ice to save their careers.

    So, I say this with some reservation, but I say it nonetheless: Fuck you, Tony Amonte. Hoss has TWO rings now.

    • Sparky_The_Bard-barian

      As another poster said, “Big talk coming from a guy who never played in a final about a guy who has played in four finals in the last six years.

    • nextgame

      Loved this tweet from McClure after the nature of Hossa’s injury became known:

      Marian Hossa couldn’t feel his right leg. Eat shit Tony Amonte, as it’s apparently the only thing you aren’t eating these days. – McClure

      • 1benmenno

        That is so McClure. Can’t stop laughing.

  • BigCSouthside

    I think its safe to say that Toews is the best captain in the league, and while we knew that already, this playoffs just made it apparent to the rest of the world. Who took teams targeting him, hanging all over him, and cheap shotting him, but still got on the scoresheet? Toews. When we needed an OT winner, who was there putting Chara in his place? Toews. When we needed one to tie in the clinching game with minutes left, who took it to the net and set it up? Toews.

    Sidney Crosby couldn’t inspire his team to score more goals in an entire series than Jonathan Toews’ team scored in a 17 second span.

    • cliffkoroll

      Chara ran Toews into the goalpost with about 4 minutes left, in a fairly typical play. This almost inevitably leads to dick-measuring contests in the NHL, but Toews kept his cool.

      The last couple games especially, the Bruins started sliding from the “great tough hockey team” model toward the Kings/Blues/Canucks template. This is to be expected when everything is on the line and the whistles are swallowed- kitchen-sink mentality.

      The Hawks weathered it beautifully.

      • nextgame

        When Toews looked up at Chara right after that play you could almost see the thought bubble above his head: “I will make you pay dearly for that.”

        And he did.

        • 1benmenno

          Yes. That pass between the legs was something to behold. Indeed, Toews seems to have an affinity for the five hole.

    • ChiBlackhawks

      Tazer is so fucking clutch. How many times has he factored in on a last-minute goal to help this team along? It feels like every time that happens, he was there. You can’t quantify that in numbers or individual hardware.

      • bizarrohairhelmet

        And yet, with the Selke and the Cup this year, they just keep trying…

  • cliffkoroll

    Is there a better human embodiment of TWTW than MJ?

    We saw maybe the most concentrated dose of TWTW in NHL history the other night. Not 17 seconds- two separate 17-second vignettes of a team reaching down and exerting its will on an opponent.

    The first was bigger, of course. Sneaky Dave and Co. merely administered the flying elbow to an already staggering Bear.

    But the first! 17 seconds of TWTW by our best against their best. Supremely satisfying.

    • cliffkoroll

      I’ve done a more poetic version, but here’s a list (it goes to eleven!) of the little manifestations of TWTW that were executed perfectly on that play:

      1. drop pass that finally fucking works
      2. Kane knifes forwards
      3. Kane gets space for shot
      4. Kane fires low to generate rebound
      5. Kane gets a piece of clearing pass
      6. THE BIG ONE: Toews pwns Krejci (only sniff of puck Bruins had)
      7. Toews passes to Kane
      8. Kane passes to Keith
      9. Keith passes to Toews
      10. Toews passes to Bear in Hawk Clothing
      11. Bickell beats Rask

      • cliffkoroll

        Sometimes, TWTW can be seen in better relief from a different perspective.

        1. Horton pylon’d
        2. Krejci flailing
        3. Seidenberg dumb
        4. Big Bears and Horton mesmerized, spectating

        Can’t blame Rask though. I’m sure he takes great comfort in that.

      • 1benmenno

        Wow. And it only took a few seconds.

    • Sparky_The_Bard-barian

      TWTW ?

      • cliffkoroll

        Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Wednesday.

        No, wait. The Will To Win.

  • putmeinthemadhouse

    Toews is technically the third captain to win it twice by 25 (Bobby Clarke/Gretzky).

  • BledRednBlack

    Hey CI how about putting together a little soiree at Bottom Lounge? We’d love to exchange pleasantries and vitriol over some crafty brews.