Looking For Ol’ Sukie Jones: Hawks at Flames Preview, Pregame Thread, Rugby Meeting

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Game Time: 9:00PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN down here, CBC up there/ WGN-AM 720
Burn Motherfucker Burn: Flames Nation

The past few years haven’t been kind to the Flames. For a time, it seemed the Flames were only just finding a center for Iginla away from getting to the promised land. Then calls to start tearing the team apart (and usually rebuild around Iggy.. sometimes trade him) became more frequent. Sadly, the Flames are never quite bad enough to really justify a total re-build but certainly never good enough to actually have anyone take them seriously.

This year, things may finally be different though – They’ve got just a single win in 5 games and were most recently seen getting kicked in the dick in only 3 minutes by an Avalanche team that isn’t really scaring anyone. Could this year finally be the one where the Flames pull the plug and trade their captain? Does anyone still want him? Does everyone realize Iggy’s full name is Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla?

Oh wait, of course it isn’t because their GM, Jay Feaster, puts detergent in his oatmeal everyday.

This isn’t to say the Flames haven’t made some moves to try and improve this year. Dennis Wideman was signed from the Caps to help with the power play and so far they’re 8th best in the league though they’ve only had 20 chances so far, second fewest in the league. But Wideman defends like a drunken Frenchman, and will get beat to the outside enough where you think he’s doing it on purpose. The rest of the blue line isn’t much better. Jay Bouwmeester is playing on pairing too high and is paid even more over his head. The rest of the crew is slower than a constipated turd crawling its way to freedom out of the bowel.

They’ve also been leaning heavily on professional funny name Jiri Hudler who did his best in his last game with two goals against the Avs. Lee Stempniak has had a good start to the season. But remember what Plato told us: If Lee Stempniak is on your top six and/or one of your leading scorers, your team is firmly stuck in neutral. Oh, and something about democracy. Maybe.

There are a couple kids who are making a something of a splash. Sven Baertschi and Mikel Backlund could become nice players, but neither project to be stars. Other than that, doesn’t Glencross always score against the Hawks?

The main problems for the Flames as usual, is their lack of depth up the middle is so bad it makes it seem like the Hawks are downright spoiled. Both of their top line centers are converted wingers (why does that sound so familiar?).

Penalty killing hasn’t exactly been a specialty for the Flames just yet this season, they’re second-worst in the league ahead of the Jets (how could that happen with such a quality d-man like Byfuglien around? I mean really).

If the Flames make any sort of goo-goo eyes at relevance this year, it’ll be for the reason it always is. Mikka Kiprusoff will roll back the years for a couple weeks or a month. Though this time it might be his plea to finally get out of there (come back to this if Crawford falters).

While there are a couple snipers in Iggy and Cammalleri and Tanguay who can hurt you if you give them space, there’s hardly enough depth to smother you here. And Iggy doesn’t create his own space nearly as well these days, the other two barely did. Basically, if you play well enough to let the Flames be the Flames, you’ll walk out with two points.

No word yet on Fabulous Weapon, but it would be a major surprise if he makes the post. Getting hurt without anyone around usually means something pretty nasty. How the Hawks will make up for it is obvious though not necessarily the most logical (*cough* Sharp to center *cough*). The guess is because Shaw assisted on Kane’s goal last night, he’ll get bumped up to Line #2. Though Kruger would be the better fit, but he’s also a better center for Stals and Bicks, so let’s settle for that trade-off. Jamal Mayers will probably slide in to center the 4th line, and Michael Frolik will wonder just how he’s angered God to be saddled with Jammer and Bollig for linemates.

Ray Emery looks likely to give Crow a breather tonight.

There are some pitfalls here. Second of a back-to-back after an emotional OT game last night. The Hawks have chucked these before, and Alberta hasn’t been all that kind the past couple seasons. Also, the Flames awesome throwbacks will not translate through the shitty CSN filters, which angers me to no end. But the Hawks are one-third of the way to what would be an acceptable point-return on this trip, and this is probably the closest to a gimme that they’ll have the rest of the way.

Let’s do it.

  • Hi, I’m Bob LeDonne

    Hi, I’m Bob LeDonne.

    • Accipiter

      Bob.

      • Hi, I’m Bob LeDonne

        PANDA BEAR

    • Z-man19

      Bobalicious, got a whiskey for us tonight?

      • Hi, I’m Bob LeDonne

        You bet your fuck I do.

        • http://www.facebook.com/hair.helmet Hair Helmet

          I call.

    • mightymikeD

      STIL SPEL EMAS YAW SDRAWKCAB!!

      • Hi, I’m Bob LeDonne

        Backwards way same leps lits?

        • mightymikeD

          He played for Quebec in the ’60s

  • Accipiter

    Bolland got hacked by Hansen. Did no one else see it ? CBC is reporting it as a right ankle injury.

    • Z-man19

      I read it elsewhere as well but haven’t seen a replay of it

      • Accipiter

        http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/teams/story/?id=415063&hubname=nhl-canucks

        Watch the video NHL: CHI 1, VAN 2 (SO) on the right side of the screen. (just after the 1 min mark)

        • Z-man19

          Not that I’m thrilled with that but it’s better than when I thought Bolly went down all by himself

          • http://twitter.com/llUrbanAchiever Jeff Lebowski

            Coach Q says Bolland out tonight but listed as day-to-day, staying on the road trip.

            I take that as a great fucking sign.

          • Z-man19

            I concur, whew

          • 10thMountainFire

            I thought it was a knee injury at first. I admit… I cursed a hockey God or several. It appears that they have had some mercy on my misgivings and my apology was accepted.

    • http://twitter.com/llUrbanAchiever Jeff Lebowski

      I took several looks after the play. Hansen blindly flung his stick behind his back trying to get lucky and hit the puck in Bolland’s possession. Instead, he wacked Bolland on the side of his leg just below the bottom of the shin guard where the skate begins.

      He may have caught him in the upper ankle…but the slash didn’t look like it had enough velocity to do any real damage…so Bolland may have twisted his leg or something as he winced.

      • Accipiter

        I thought the same about the slash not being that hard, but it could have caught him in a vulnerable spot.

      • Waylon

        I take the positive viewpoint on this – while it may turn out to be serious, Bolly’s prior injury history mostly concerned his back, if memory serves.

  • Hi, I’m Bob LeDonne

    Welcome to BOB LEDONNE’S RIP OFF OF BWANA’S BEER OF THE DAY WHISKEY OF THE DAY!

    During our last foray into the brown juice, we explored our second straight wheated bourbon. Well, let’s make it three straight with Heaven Hill’s Larceny!

    Like most other wheaters, Larceny is going to be smooth, soft, will benefit from airtime, and mixes well into a bowl of morning oatmeal. I find it to be a more satisfying alternative to Maker’s Mark, aka the Blue Moon of bourbon. You can find more detailed tasting notes on any good whiskey website.

    We’ll focus on two of the more interesting parts of this bourbon – its provenance and its cost. Most bourbon brands like to wax eloquently on the heritage of the name of the bottle and its family history – not Larceny. Larceny is a brand created in the past year, and the name is based on the concept of an old federal distillery agent having a penchant for stealing samples of the world’s finest whiskey in his government bonded warehouse. Pretty cute huh? For cost, you’re looking at probably $20 for a 750 and $35 for family sized, and if you’re resourceful enough you can find a $10 or $20 mail-in rebate. Can’t beat that kind of deal, unless you’re stealing the bottles straight from the store (Larceny!).

    Anyway, I hope you’re all enjoying your Saturday. If not, sack up.

    • Hi, I’m Bob LeDonne

      An oatmeal reference here and in the game preview? Either I’m a plagiaristic assbag, it’s a random coincidence, or I’ve finally managed to reveal that Bob is the Tyler Durden to Killion’s narrator.

  • 10thMountainFire

    I believe this evening will be a night for Killians.

  • flavius

    It sounds like this game is going to require a lot of alcohol

    • 10thMountainFire

      I was thinking the same thing.

    • Z-man19

      And something you can break that you won’t miss later

      • 10thMountainFire

        Kittens?

        • mightymikeD

          Ginger ones..

          • 10thMountainFire

            Of COURSE!

          • mightymikeD

            here..

          • Z-man19

            And Ahn isn’t here to appreciate it, damn

          • Waylon

            Hey, no dissing the Gingers – after all I used to be one (before my hair turned…aw, never mind.

          • 10thMountainFire

            Gingers are awesome. Prince Harry is a badass.

          • Z-man19

            Ginger from Gilligan’s Island?

          • BigHoss

            so is ron weasley

        • Z-man19

          THAT is a solid idea, darn near brilliant

          • 10thMountainFire

            Thank you, sir. I shall bring extras.

          • Z-man19

            God no, I’ve got one of my own to go ‘oops’ on

  • CornelisonsFlagPointer

    Hello humans. Sec. 300 probably looks like a cross between the Cal City Chuck E. Cheese on Father’s Day and a Justine Bieber concert. The couch is looking pretty good tonight.

  • Hack

    Good stuff, Kills.

    The last two previews really brought it with the LOLs.

  • justforkicks

    yup:

    ChrisKuc
    Andrew Shaw to No. 2 center and Marcus Kruger to third line for #Blackhawks. Jamal Mayers and Michael Frolik will share fourth-line center.

    • mightymikeD

      bleurgh

    • 10thMountainFire

      God damn it.

    • putmeinthemadhouse

      shaw the #2 center. good lord.

      • justforkicks

        hah its what i hoped wouldn’t happen but exactly what i expected.

    • Waylon

      Look at it this way – maybe this is the game that Q gets out of his funk and tries the hallowed line – accelerator.

      • justforkicks

        he’s too stuck on leaving the first line in tact. imo he needs to switch hossa and kane or saad and sharp. or move sharp put kane at center and bring hossa down. idek.

        • Accipiter

          Did you have an energy drink ?

          • justforkicks

            no, i don’t like the way they taste. am super tired though

          • Accipiter

            I read the comment and in my head I pictured it being said at full speed, swapping names everywhere by someone who seemed over energized.

          • justforkicks

            upon re-read i can see that. but alas i am super lethargic not super energized

          • Waylon

            you mean like a Red Bull with a 5 – Hour Energy chaser?

          • 10thMountainFire

            That remark is pure awesome.

  • chidiver

    That would just make him twitchy

    • chidiver

      Shit. A friggin Waylon.

      • Waylon

        But there are no more Waylons done on this site – didn’t you get the memo?

      • Accipiter

        Those are harder to do around these parts.

        • chidiver

          I’ll blame the tablet.

        • BigHoss

          yes, they are

  • chidiver

    So…I’m here for the meeting. I’ll play loose head and I can find a hooker pretty fast. Where’s the punch and pie? We were led to believe there would be punch and pie.

  • 10thMountainFire

    I don’t like the looks of Shaw at 2C… and by ‘not like the looks of’, I mean I had friends take away my belt, shoelaces, and remove all of the sharp objects within reach of my chair during the game.

    • Hack

      He’s not ideal there, but how can that line perform any worse than they were performing with bolland there? Shaw’s forecheck created the best two chances that the 2nd line got at any point in the game.

      Q will give them soft shifts in the O zone, and shield them from situations where they’ll get killed defensively. Who knows how many draws Shaw will win, but at least the Patricks will get some help on the forecheck.

      • 10thMountainFire

        If your analysis is correct, I think we can weather Shaw between Kane and Sharp… but I wonder how long it will be before Q shifts Sharp back to the center spot.

        Edit: I really do like your comment about a forechecking Shaw. It does, theoretically at least, up up quite a bit of room for a bit of Black Magic.

  • Joe Banks

    Pat Boyle interviewing Saad in pre-game. Pat Boyle knows absolutely dick about hockey. Painful to watch.

    • Accipiter

      Son of Scott-E, Kneel before Saad.

      • 10thMountainFire

        KNEEL!!!

        • Accipiter

          You better be kneeling !

    • BigHoss

      yeah hes pretty bad

  • Joe Banks

    where is first thread?

    • BigHoss

      i thought this is the 1st period thread

      • flavius

        Damn it, man! We’ve got a game tonight! Get your focus on!

        • Accipiter

          Calmer than you are. Calmer than you are.

        • BigHoss

          im sorry coach im just not myself tonite, and is there a way to not have to re enter your name and email every time you post a comment?

          • Z-man19

            The little gear thingy, login there

          • Accipiter

            Yes. See the gear (top right under leave a message) click it, Login.

  • girlphoenix