I Was A Teenage Anarchist – Canucks vs Hawks Preview, Pregame Thread, Allocution

vs

Game Time: 7:30PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
The Stickiest of the Icky: Nucks Misconduct

As the season and the homestand soldier on, tonight’s game will mark both the median point of 7 straight at home for the Hawks as well as an even third of the season as a whole. And tonight’s tilt against the Canucks features all of the usual build-up associated with games between these two teams, but with a little extra spice added in tonight for good measure.

The Canucks find themselves in a familiar place atop the mountain of dog vomit that is the Northwest Division, however their means of getting there haven’t been quite what they planned. While the lockout put the entire process on hold, GM Mike Gillis’ aim was to deal Roberto Luongo and his elephantine contract to anyone dumb enough to take it (read: Brian Burke/Dave Nonis, Dale Tallon) while renewing the far more affordable Corey Schneider, who was seemingly ready to take the reins of the starter’s position.

But even the best laid plans can go dick in the dirt, starting with Schneider’s 5-0 borking at the hands of the Ducks opening night. Since then, ol’ Borat has pretty much saved their ass, going 4-0-3 in seven starts with a 1.63 GAA and a .934 save percentage, with one of those victories being a shootout win over the Hawks earlier this month. But it will be the ginger who gets the go tonight, whose last appearance was against the Stars on Friday night wherein he backstopped the Canucks blowing a 3 goal lead to lose in regulation. Long-time observers will also take note that this will be Schneider’s first appearance on United Center ice since Michael Frolik deked Schneider’s crotch into exploding.

In front of all of that crease drama, the Canucks finally see themselves getting healthy at forward after staying afloat during the absences of Ryan Kesler, who returned on Friday, and P.E.T.A. activist David Booth, who returns tonight, likely on Kesler’s wing. However, Manny Malholtra is unavailable for the Canucks, and more than likely permanently with repercussions of his devastating eye injury still affecting his play. While at face value losing a fourth line center shouldn’t mean that much, it does to the Canucks, as Malholtra took the majority of defensive zone faceoffs, which allowed the twins to take an inordinate amount of offensive zone draws. That number will come back to earth over a large enough sample size, and something to watch for will be if doing so will affect their usual creepy ways and point per game pace.

The Canucks’ blue line also looks the same as it always has, even with the addition of Jason Garrison. Plenty of offensive talent, but with a tendency to be a clown car in their own end under sustained pressure. Kevin Bieksa will be yappy, Alex Edler will leave his feet with his elbows up to hit someone, and as always, Dan Hamhuis has got this.

As for our Men of Four Feathers, the injury bug has bitten once again, this time in the form of Brent Seabrook, whose bag apparently still needs some icing after absorbing a Mike Richards shot on Sunday. Michal Rozsival figures to jump in his place alongside Duncan Keith, which makes sense given Rozy’s right handed shot, and also to avoid having to disturb more than one pair. Although this is Quenneville after all, so don’t be surprised if the Keith-Leddy fever dream gets tossed out there at some point at even strength. It stands to reason that Hjalmarsson and Oduya would stay together given their level of play regardless, and also draw the assignment of the Twins. This will all take place in front of Ray Emery once again, with Corey Crawford skating but not quite ready. Stick in lanes and rebound clearances will be absolutely critical in keeping the Canucks from exploiting Razor’s lack of lateral mobility.

Though Q hasn’t gotten matchy-uppy yet this season with his forward lines, tonight might be an exception with his starting goalie and #2 defenseman out against a top opponent. Though Dave Bolland has drawn the Sedins in the past, doing so with his current linemates would be a waste of Kane and Sharp’s primary uses. And for a team that possesses the puck as well as the Canucks do, especially that line, Bolland’s inability to win a draw could end up being costly. Look for Toews to see a lot of the twins, and for Marcus Kruger and Michael Frolik, to get a lot of Kesler and Booth.

Smart zone entrances and exits are going to be crucial tonight. When the Hawks have the puck they need to keep it, because the longer they do the greater the chance of a mistake by a Vancouver defenseman becomes. This also means making Corey Schnieder play the puck outside of his net as much as possible, as he’s shown some difficulty with that in the past. And there’s bound to be one monumentally stupid penalty from the Canucks, so capitalizing on that, or any power play chance could be the difference in the game.

Regardless of any streak that might be on the line tonight, there’s a loud quacking sound that’s rapidly closing in on the Hawks from behind in the western conference standings, and they can ill-afford to give any ground. This will also be the Hawks’ first attempt at repaying a squad that’s already handed them a defeat, albeit shootout in nature. Here’s hoping they don’t lose sight of either of those two facts. Let’s go Hawks.

  • Chesterfield King
  • 10thMountainFire

    David Booth seems to have taken losing to the Bruins a bit personally.

    • mightymikeD

      ha!

    • Accipiter

      People
      Eating
      Tortured
      Animals

      • 10thMountainFire

        Dad, we’re men. That means a few things…we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.

        • cliffkoroll

          This
          place Is a prison, on planet bullshit, in the galaxy of this sucks camel dick!

          • Accipiter

            I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me ?

          • 10thMountainFire

            Holy Santa Claus balls.

    • Sparky_The_Barbarian

      All he wanted was a Pic-a-nic Basket.

    • Waylon

      I must have missed something about this – is he ragging on them still?

      • Accipiter

        Did you read the pre-game writeup ?

        • Waylon

          Ah, read the article but didn’t click on the link – got it.

  • JesusMarianHossa

    Really enjoying New Q. Thanks for not going all mad scientist on the blue line tonight, lip fuzz.

    That said, take the Nucks and the +1.5.

    • Sparky_The_Barbarian

      Indeed. New Q is the epitome of a hockey coach at this level. Smart, experienced, in control, and just a teeny little bit bat shit crazy.

    • MattC86

      Is it confirmed that Rozy goes with Keith? I thought somebody was saying we’re in for a Leddy/Keith, Rozy/Brookbank mess.

  • Eddie_The_Eagle50

    Run this streak to 16 tonight boys while laying waste to bobby Lu and the sardine twins.

    • Accipiter

      I believe that Ginger Jesus got the nod in goal.

      • Sparky_The_Barbarian

        At least for the first period…..

      • raditzzzz

        just to brighten everyone’s day:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xYEuHbg3Fg

        • 10thMountainFire

          I was just going to reference the groin deke. You asshole. You RUINED it.

          • raditzzzz

            yo 10th, joey has a question for you:

          • 10thMountainFire

            I cannot be angry with that face staring at me.

      • Eddie_The_Eagle50

        Would rather see the ginger in the blue paint than Lu at this point.

  • Sparky_The_Barbarian

    Glad to hear Crow skating, though really, how much skating should he do? (Three feet this way, three feet that way, leave crease to corral puck…. Ouch! damned shock collar…)

    • raditzzzz

      sparky on crawford:

      • Sparky_The_Barbarian

        Replace the rope with chains and you have it, good sir, you have it.

    • Joe Banks

      At least you don’t have to take her to see “Safe Haven”…

    • Z-man19

      You better have some scotch ready damn it

  • cliffkoroll

    “But even the best laid plans can go dick in the dirt,”

    Classic. Take that, Robert Burns, and a fistful of haggis too!

  • Raincity

    Cheers, from nucksmisconduct-land.
    Good luck guys!
    Hahaha just kidding I hope you lose 20-0. : D

    • 10thMountainFire

      We just cleaned this place. Now we need to go get the mop. Thanks a lot.

      • WarriorMike

        TELEPHONE AND PERMANENTLY DELETE THIS E-MAIL MESSAGE. THANK YOU.TELEPHONE AND PERMANENTLY DELETE THIS E-MAIL MESSAGE. THANK YOU.

      • Raincity

        I used to comment on SCH. Forgotten… :’ (

    • ahnfire

      be nice.

      or we’ll have Frolik break GingerJesus’ again. ;P meh, we might have him do that anyway.

      • justforkicks

        and yeah it was a shootout and not in america but don’t forget kaner dekeing the pants off schneider

        • Joe Banks

          And Frolik…

      • Raincity

        I’m just teasing. : ) You guys are cool.

    • 1benmenno

      Troll, troll, troll in the hay.

  • Woods

    LET’S GO HAWKS!

  • DesertHawk

    Oh this is where everyone went, why doesn’t anyone tell me these things?

    • laaarmer

      I was wondering the same thing. Fucking memos never get to my desk.

      • RLWiener

        Well you see, we’re putting cover sheets on all of the TPS reports now. I’ll go ahead and make sure you get a copy of that memo.

        • Joe Banks

          Um that would be… great…

  • Eddie_The_Eagle50

    Kill it with fire.

  • Chesterfield King

    Damn the Canucks, for changing their theme music to a band I really really like, Japandroids.

    http://www.spin.com/articles/japandroids-hockey-vancouver-canucks-the-house-that-heaven-built

    • 10thMountainFire

      They’re desecrating Clutch, too. Fuckin terrorists.

      • Chesterfield King

        I mean fuck, this is just a really good song

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRVCtbfuDqw

        • 10thMountainFire

          Pretty good. I may have to check these guys out.

      • http://www.thecommittedindian.com/ Matt McClure

        Not terrorists, anarchists. Anarchists are to blame for anything that goes wrong in Vancouver.

        • 10thMountainFire

          Dustin Byfluglien, anarchist.

          • Accipiter

            It is known.

        • RLWiener

          Burn it down, burn it all down!

        • Waylon

          anarchists from Oregon, that is.

    • Waylon

      I still hear Enter Sandman after goals in Rodgers arena – which is funny, since the Bruins play that one as well.

  • Country_Bumpkin

    Going to be at the game tonight. I am completely jacked for this game and I hope the Madhouse is rocking. No one should be sitting on their hands tonight.

    • 10thMountainFire

      …unless his name is Roberto Luongo. He is free to do that. And just might.

      • Country_Bumpkin

        If the Hawks lose to these shitbags I just might cry a little.

        • 10thMountainFire

          Roberto? Is that you?

  • Woods

    OMG IS IT 7:30 YET!?!?!?

    • The Doctor

      Yes.

    • MySpoonIsTooBig

      Actually it’s 7:53 right now!

      But I live on the east coast so it’s still just over half an hour ’til game time :-(

  • barnum22

    anybody see the vw comercial were the mother is driving her daughters boyfreinds car and he asks the girl why they always have to take her mothers car.dave bolland as a teenager what do you think

    • Bullitt315

      It’s awesome.

  • Paul the Fossil
  • Waylon

    Along with the points made above, I’d like to see the Hawks deploy a furious forechceck whenever possible, and make sure to put Chimpy into the boards when he attempts his infamous hacking when taking the puck to their blue line. Also screw Hamhock and that stain on the road with a crewcut, AV.

    • Joe Banks

      Coach Vagisil?

      • Waylon

        I like it!

  • Chesterfield King

    FUCK YOU ALBERTS

  • adelfiacco10

    Against Me! reference in the title = instant gold star.

  • http://twitter.com/crimepunks Huge Ackman

    I legitimately can’t read these previews in public anymore because I laugh out loud so much

  • http://twitter.com/crimepunks Huge Ackman

    http://canucks.nhl.com/club/news.htm?id=654908&navid=DL%7CVAN%7Chome

    Everyone should go here and vote for Nickelback to be the Canucks entrance song.

    • robondacob

      hahaha that’s a great idea

    • Accipiter

      Done and done.

    • 10thMountainFire

      That is pure fucking evil. I love it.

  • Z-man19

    Where the hell is mmd when you need him? MMD!!! MMD!!!, PIERRE is in St. Louis, LAUNCH THE NUCLEAR WARHEAD

  • QCBlackhawk

    So, Ducks, what do you think of the Hawks playing the Nucks when your next game is against the fuckin Avs after FIVE days off?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZnYIY2zieY&feature=player_detailpage#t=3s

  • Chesterfield King

    Keith-Brookbank.

    So it has come to this.

    • 10thMountainFire

      According to Tony O, Binny’s has alcohol available for under $10 so we’re good.

  • 10thMountainFire

    I swear to God, every time I hear some dumbshit in a broadcast say ‘The Hawks haven’t had a net presence since Dustin Byfuglien left…’ I’m going to cut myself.

    • QCBlackhawk

      You’re going to look fucked up before too long with that attitude

      • 10thMountainFire

        Then because of the one a few minutes ago, I’ll cut myself in the form of the name ‘Konroyd’ down my arm so people will know what fucked me up.

        • Z-man19

          Can you put ‘Zed was here’ while you are at it?

    • CornelisonsFlagPointer

      Yeah, then sometimes I miss Sopey :-)

  • 10thMountainFire

    First period thread is up.